If this play manages to come together, it's going to be one hell of a funny play. I mean, really funny...
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
This is a recent photo from the play/rehersal. Here we see Miranda (left) with her leaky boob solution, and Charlotte (right) telling Carrie that she would never buy knock-offs. All the girls - as a the core group of four are so incredibly tallented, I feel so honoured to be in their company. We really lucked out to have found such an amazing cast - all of them! But then again, maybe it was no accident. All of this happens for a reason.
If this play manages to come together, it's going to be one hell of a funny play. I mean, really funny...
If this play manages to come together, it's going to be one hell of a funny play. I mean, really funny...
Monday, May 30, 2005
The director's chair.
This is from a fellow director friend of mine - his name is thedak and his website is here. His stuff is amazing - someone to watch for (he might kill me for doing this, but what the hell, we artsy fartsies have to stick together). I plan to link to some new tallent that I find on flickr to spread the message around - good art like this has to be seen...
As I listen to The Verve on my stereo, full blast - orchestrations rolling through my hallways, I take special notice to the lyrics as I pause to look out my window to the 1/2 clear 1/2 grey sky that floats by. It had just rained hard for a about 10 minutes and now the weather is having this great internal battle.
I'm a lucky man,
with fire in my hands...
I can imagine being up in a plane, high above the city, looking out of the window and see the Yin/Yang symbol in the clouds.
It's shitty outside, but I am not feeling shitty.
I am feeling quite strong and wise. I am thankful to be where I am now.
37 and loving it.
Never thought I'd hear those words fly out of my mouth (or out of my fingers!!)
Combination of new meds, 96 hours of fever, trying to change my perspective on life, some soul searching, being shaken up both good and bad - perhaps that all has to do with it, or maybe I've just reached that point.
it's just a change in me
something in my liberty
You know that point when you just wake up one morning and you have that feeling of - ah ha! Okay. Yea. I think I'm starting to get it now.
I hope its stays.
I met up with a flickr buddy - thedak on msn. He's also a photographer (and a really amazing one - go and check out his stuff!!) and waxed poetic about filmaking, him telling me about how he was trying to wrap his head around being 'the big chief director' of the show. How do you do it? You know, rally around the troops without coming off as an asshole or too bossy, or without feeling guilty about telling them what to do?
And in that moment, in that sentence it hit me - I am being asked for advice because I have experience. And not 2 or 3 year of experience, we're talking 10 plus in the motion picture industry alone. I felt so honored that someone was coming to me for insight, help, wisdom.
Yea, you have earned your wisdom, you've earned your wings.
I always knew that I was in the arts for a reason, and that eventually I would be able to share my experiences and make a difference in somebody's life. It is a really special feeling. Kinda warming and calming inside.
Peace and contentment.
So we blabbed a bit, then I sent him a long email with all my book suggestions (Directing for Film - Eric Sherman and Sculpting in Time - Andrei Tarkovsky. Those are an ABSOLUTE MUST for any director or person who is a big fan of cinema) and personal stories about how I cope when things are on my shoulders. I can remember when some (albeit few) master artists would take the time to explain things to me; there is something about life experience that changes the way you look back on things, your perspective on your own history changes - you are a little further away, can now see the forest for the trees and have gained insight that only comes with living a full life.
I feel like I am a happy antique leather couch - the ones that look really old and rugged, the ones with the huge arm rests with the gold rivets on the side. Worn in more places than some, but each spot is rich in texture and uniqueness.
Yea, uniqueness.
I look out my window to the little drops of rain that hang on. With help from the wind, some of them are disappearing, some are joining together to make larger ones.
Stillness.
And for now, it seems like the grey has won, but the light will come around again eventually
I'm not too worried anymore...
This is a picture I snuck from the shoot last week. On the left, production assistants, middle, the director (brilliant dude!) and the president of the production company who hired us to pull all this stuff off. I like to call this photo "At least I think she knows what she is doing" as he watches me set up a new scene.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Sick but happy.
I am so sick.
I have had a fever of 104F and it has been going between that and 102 since Tuesday night. My whole body aches - it hurts to breathe, cough, sneeze, but I am one happy camper. Oh, a very happy camper.
Before I fall into this keyboard, I just wanted to let you all know that the shoot went incredibly well, better than I actually thought it would. I was blessed by being able to work with a photographer, and a lighting technician who has been in the industry for the past 25 years, so his knowledge helped me so much. At first I was sooo nervous, knowing that the 30 some odd people milling about behind me were watching me and the director 'do our stuff', but once I got into the groove, the day just smoothed by.
It was ironic and a blessing that I started to get a fever only after the last hour - I had already finished my shots and the day was pretty much done. I went home and collapsed into bed where I have been for the past 2 days.
I called the director, I was dying to know what the images looked like: They are amazing! It looks really good! This is going to look so fantastic when it's all put together!
Music to my ears and my fever riddled body.
I am supposed to do a mini performance with my troupe tonight. It's only two minutes, and I am hoping that I won't have to let the gang down, but just that - just knowing that I pulled off that shoot and the images look great make me a happy camper.
Sigh.
I have had a fever of 104F and it has been going between that and 102 since Tuesday night. My whole body aches - it hurts to breathe, cough, sneeze, but I am one happy camper. Oh, a very happy camper.
Before I fall into this keyboard, I just wanted to let you all know that the shoot went incredibly well, better than I actually thought it would. I was blessed by being able to work with a photographer, and a lighting technician who has been in the industry for the past 25 years, so his knowledge helped me so much. At first I was sooo nervous, knowing that the 30 some odd people milling about behind me were watching me and the director 'do our stuff', but once I got into the groove, the day just smoothed by.
It was ironic and a blessing that I started to get a fever only after the last hour - I had already finished my shots and the day was pretty much done. I went home and collapsed into bed where I have been for the past 2 days.
I called the director, I was dying to know what the images looked like: They are amazing! It looks really good! This is going to look so fantastic when it's all put together!
Music to my ears and my fever riddled body.
I am supposed to do a mini performance with my troupe tonight. It's only two minutes, and I am hoping that I won't have to let the gang down, but just that - just knowing that I pulled off that shoot and the images look great make me a happy camper.
Sigh.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
'Oh my God' - and so begins our summer...
Oh my God.
I am flipping. Exhausted, stunned and flipping.
Nervous as all hell, a little panicked but good.
The universe has strange ways of telling us things, and sometimes if we listen just a little bit, we can hear the messages in the wind, in the flapping of a birds wings, or feel it in a ray of sunshine.
I went to meet with the producers of this corporate video I am going to be doing the cinematography for. This is the big bucks, and I found out that there are two other people on this ladder of advertising/client step - there is the client, who hired an ad agency, who hired the production house, who hired my friend to direct, who hired me to shoot the damm thing. When I say I have alot riding on my shoulders, I'm not kidding. It is my job to make all this stuff look pretty. And that is a big job.
I am nervous as hell!
why?!
Because there will be people watching my every move, waiting for the final product, watching how efficient I am. If I fuck up. What will I do next!? Alot of eyes on little old me!
The man of the house was kinda oblivious to my panic and plight:well welcome to the real world!!
I was so pissed off. What the hell do you know about lighting a room the size of plane hangar!??!
Sure, I could try to do it, I could fake it cause I have never done it before, but do I want to fake with 40 000$ of somebody else's $$?
Expensive mistake to make if I do make a mistake.
I have been trying to employ methods of Cognitive behavioral therapy - change your way of thinking, change the way you feel. Its alot of work - to re-program your mind to think another way. And the mind does resist! And hard! I had to spend a good 10 minutes on the way to the meeting this morning to shut off that tape in my head.
You're gonna fuck up.
They are gonna see you are an amateur
they are gonna smell your fear a mile away...
I went in there confident, spoke with the first set of clients - the ad agency. They were 3 people (two men, one woman) about my age, maybe younger. That helped - no corporate stuffy faces/suits. The director did some sort of fancy power point presentation and everybody loved it. We are going to be doing a ' making of ' the making of. (if you can figure that out).
There is going to be a photographer who will be taking her shots. We will be there filming her photographing these people. Needless to say, I was relieved when I found out she was a woman, even more relieved when I found out how wonderful and sweet she was.
We talked about lighting and how our lights would balance eachother out - she lights for her stuff, and mine would compliment hers, just as her lights could compliment my scene.
How cool is that?!
Working with a fellow photographer!?
Amen.
and a woman!?
Amen and a hallelujah!
She was really nice and soft spoken!?
Double amen and a glory be to God!
So I sat and talked with these people, watched as they went through the minutes of the meeting, and I took my q to go and set up my equipment. People seemed really nice. I tipped my imaginary hat to my director friend and was off.
Saw the production assistant. She asked me what kind of equipment I wanted.
Its been so long since I have done a huge shoot, let alone orchestrate one on my own.
I tried not to sound amateurish, but I was paranoid that it was as blatantly obvious as a hole in the head.
She seemed perplexed with my choices -that's it?! Those are all the lights you want?!
Ah, er, yea...
Big fucken oops.
I was sure she saw right through me like a pane of glass, AMATEUR stamped on my forehead, my dunce cap covering the m in amateur.
it was too late to back pedal - I'll get the chief electro guy to call you. Who do you usually work with!?
Ah, er, ah...
She was relay perplexed and I saw the warning signs go off in her head.
I am done for, toast, my cover's been blown.
Hasta la vista kitty!
I went downtown, distraught and panicking . I met up with a good friend of mine. Her boyfriend has just broken up with her the night before: I love you, but it's just not working out.
This after a year and 1/2 together.
ouch.
You know kitty, I just have to know that I will survive. It is gonna be hard for a while, I will miss him, but life will go on. I have to move on and keep busy.
I stood there in awe. This woman, more than 10 years my junior, was more put together than I was .
You impress the hell out of me girl!
I told her about my panic and worry - why worry!? You know your stuff, you know people who can help you!? Just put it all together.
She was right.
And so I did, but not without a little help from the universe...
I got home and was waiting for the call, the production manager to call me and say: are you sure you can do this?!
But there was no call.
Except one call - the chief electrician.
Turns out he is a photographer too, and was once an aspiring cinematic, like I was.
We bonded immediately. We laughed together, and it was all good.
We're going to make some beautiful images together!
That was music to my ears.
I have to light a candle tomorrow - somebody up there wants me to succeed in this. I mean one photographer on this shoot was a coincidence (allowed me to piggy back off of her lighting setup) but an electro (they are called gaffers in cine language) who is also a frustrated cinematographer like I am!? What a coincidence, no - what a blessing.
I will be spending the weekend going over storyboards and lighting setups and will be shooting all day Tuesday. Wednesday I will be recuperating and trying to pinch myself out of the daze I will surely be in.
Wish me luck my dears. Many people's reputation and money is riding on my little shoulders!!!
Oh, and the play ? Coming along swimmingly!
More about that next post - with pictures!
I am flipping. Exhausted, stunned and flipping.
Nervous as all hell, a little panicked but good.
The universe has strange ways of telling us things, and sometimes if we listen just a little bit, we can hear the messages in the wind, in the flapping of a birds wings, or feel it in a ray of sunshine.
I went to meet with the producers of this corporate video I am going to be doing the cinematography for. This is the big bucks, and I found out that there are two other people on this ladder of advertising/client step - there is the client, who hired an ad agency, who hired the production house, who hired my friend to direct, who hired me to shoot the damm thing. When I say I have alot riding on my shoulders, I'm not kidding. It is my job to make all this stuff look pretty. And that is a big job.
I am nervous as hell!
why?!
Because there will be people watching my every move, waiting for the final product, watching how efficient I am. If I fuck up. What will I do next!? Alot of eyes on little old me!
The man of the house was kinda oblivious to my panic and plight:well welcome to the real world!!
I was so pissed off. What the hell do you know about lighting a room the size of plane hangar!??!
Sure, I could try to do it, I could fake it cause I have never done it before, but do I want to fake with 40 000$ of somebody else's $$?
Expensive mistake to make if I do make a mistake.
I have been trying to employ methods of Cognitive behavioral therapy - change your way of thinking, change the way you feel. Its alot of work - to re-program your mind to think another way. And the mind does resist! And hard! I had to spend a good 10 minutes on the way to the meeting this morning to shut off that tape in my head.
You're gonna fuck up.
They are gonna see you are an amateur
they are gonna smell your fear a mile away...
I went in there confident, spoke with the first set of clients - the ad agency. They were 3 people (two men, one woman) about my age, maybe younger. That helped - no corporate stuffy faces/suits. The director did some sort of fancy power point presentation and everybody loved it. We are going to be doing a ' making of ' the making of. (if you can figure that out).
There is going to be a photographer who will be taking her shots. We will be there filming her photographing these people. Needless to say, I was relieved when I found out she was a woman, even more relieved when I found out how wonderful and sweet she was.
We talked about lighting and how our lights would balance eachother out - she lights for her stuff, and mine would compliment hers, just as her lights could compliment my scene.
How cool is that?!
Working with a fellow photographer!?
Amen.
and a woman!?
Amen and a hallelujah!
She was really nice and soft spoken!?
Double amen and a glory be to God!
So I sat and talked with these people, watched as they went through the minutes of the meeting, and I took my q to go and set up my equipment. People seemed really nice. I tipped my imaginary hat to my director friend and was off.
Saw the production assistant. She asked me what kind of equipment I wanted.
Its been so long since I have done a huge shoot, let alone orchestrate one on my own.
I tried not to sound amateurish, but I was paranoid that it was as blatantly obvious as a hole in the head.
She seemed perplexed with my choices -that's it?! Those are all the lights you want?!
Ah, er, yea...
Big fucken oops.
I was sure she saw right through me like a pane of glass, AMATEUR stamped on my forehead, my dunce cap covering the m in amateur.
it was too late to back pedal - I'll get the chief electro guy to call you. Who do you usually work with!?
Ah, er, ah...
She was relay perplexed and I saw the warning signs go off in her head.
I am done for, toast, my cover's been blown.
Hasta la vista kitty!
I went downtown, distraught and panicking . I met up with a good friend of mine. Her boyfriend has just broken up with her the night before: I love you, but it's just not working out.
This after a year and 1/2 together.
ouch.
You know kitty, I just have to know that I will survive. It is gonna be hard for a while, I will miss him, but life will go on. I have to move on and keep busy.
I stood there in awe. This woman, more than 10 years my junior, was more put together than I was .
You impress the hell out of me girl!
I told her about my panic and worry - why worry!? You know your stuff, you know people who can help you!? Just put it all together.
She was right.
And so I did, but not without a little help from the universe...
I got home and was waiting for the call, the production manager to call me and say: are you sure you can do this?!
But there was no call.
Except one call - the chief electrician.
Turns out he is a photographer too, and was once an aspiring cinematic, like I was.
We bonded immediately. We laughed together, and it was all good.
We're going to make some beautiful images together!
That was music to my ears.
I have to light a candle tomorrow - somebody up there wants me to succeed in this. I mean one photographer on this shoot was a coincidence (allowed me to piggy back off of her lighting setup) but an electro (they are called gaffers in cine language) who is also a frustrated cinematographer like I am!? What a coincidence, no - what a blessing.
I will be spending the weekend going over storyboards and lighting setups and will be shooting all day Tuesday. Wednesday I will be recuperating and trying to pinch myself out of the daze I will surely be in.
Wish me luck my dears. Many people's reputation and money is riding on my little shoulders!!!
Oh, and the play ? Coming along swimmingly!
More about that next post - with pictures!
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Post for angel A
In my previous post - Saturday, May 07, 2005 - My life as a TV Sit-com... angel-A said...
Hi Kitty!"How big is Big Buks?$35,000The first time I heard my friend tell me, I thought he said 3500$.I almost had a hear attack when he corrected me."My dear, I believe that very soon $350,000 won't surprise you.Don't forget - only the sky is your limit!!! Only the sky!You have a great talent, you are a rare jewel, rely on God, He stores a wonderful plan for you, just be opened and listen to Him... carefully .salute!!!
Well, I spoke to the director today - all systems are still go, but he said something that really sparked my curiosity and got my ears perking.
Go in and ask for $1000 as your flat day rate. That way she can bargain you down to 800. Not such a stretch. But if you ask for 200$ she is gonna say : this girl doesn't value herself much, and hey, lets try 150$!
A man can go into this situation and walk in knowing nothing about camera, but will bullshit himself and his way through and get the money he asks for, but a woman, who knows twice as much as the guy does, will ask for less and sell herself short. HPK, don't sell yourself short like that! Listen, I'm gonna be your pimp from now on, cause you deserve so much better!
I was momentarily stunned. He was right! So very right!
I wont sell myself short anymore. Why should I?!
In life, in relationships, with myself.
Time to silence the doubting Thomas and inner critic in my head. Time to slip my bitch boots on and start walking!
Monday, May 16, 2005
When all systems are go...
There is something in the air lately.
I have said before that this summer will be the summer when my life is gonna change - for the better, or should I dare say - for the utter fantastic...
Its a vibe I have.
Felt it since January.
Now things are happening.
Slowly but surely.
The play is coming together amazingly well. There is already a huge buzz about it across the city. And we have yet to poster and prostitute the play en masse.
I am (still waiting but) on final confirmation for a director of photography job - big budget. Super huge client.
I spoke with three fellow cast members who are now booking me to work with them on their future film projects - Pascal and his screenplay, Big and his current feature film in pre -prod right now, and Samantha who wants me to shoot her feature film probably next year.
I met up with two young guys - one a writer, the other a set designer, who were looking for somebody to direct a trailer for their upcoming feature film. I think I made a great impression on them. And if they like me, I would be the director for the feature. It would be my first independent feature film as director to my name. I will find out more on Tuesday.
I just got back from seeing the Black Crowes. I missed them when they came to town 11 years ago. I was accosted by the security guard for taking photos. I was so pissed off that I almost took my super extendo zoom lens and shoved it down his no neck fat throat. But instead, I stood there and something washed over me - a feeling of unstoppable determination - i want to do this for a living - photography - live entertainment photography. I will call the offices of the organizers of the Jazz festival and hound them until they say yes to taking me on as a staff photographer for this year's festival.
I won't take no for an answer.
I know I am good.
And I will make them know that too.
This is going to be the summer my life changes.
Warp speed - my focus is getting more (well, focused) precise.
A friend of mine said that he is putting in advance booking to become one of my groupies.
You, out of everybody I know, is going to be the first one to become famous.
Really!?
You don't say...
Fingers, knees and toes crossed and a prayer to the big G upstairs as I start the engine to this, my car and highway to a new life...
I have said before that this summer will be the summer when my life is gonna change - for the better, or should I dare say - for the utter fantastic...
Its a vibe I have.
Felt it since January.
Now things are happening.
Slowly but surely.
The play is coming together amazingly well. There is already a huge buzz about it across the city. And we have yet to poster and prostitute the play en masse.
I am (still waiting but) on final confirmation for a director of photography job - big budget. Super huge client.
I spoke with three fellow cast members who are now booking me to work with them on their future film projects - Pascal and his screenplay, Big and his current feature film in pre -prod right now, and Samantha who wants me to shoot her feature film probably next year.
I met up with two young guys - one a writer, the other a set designer, who were looking for somebody to direct a trailer for their upcoming feature film. I think I made a great impression on them. And if they like me, I would be the director for the feature. It would be my first independent feature film as director to my name. I will find out more on Tuesday.
I just got back from seeing the Black Crowes. I missed them when they came to town 11 years ago. I was accosted by the security guard for taking photos. I was so pissed off that I almost took my super extendo zoom lens and shoved it down his no neck fat throat. But instead, I stood there and something washed over me - a feeling of unstoppable determination - i want to do this for a living - photography - live entertainment photography. I will call the offices of the organizers of the Jazz festival and hound them until they say yes to taking me on as a staff photographer for this year's festival.
I won't take no for an answer.
I know I am good.
And I will make them know that too.
This is going to be the summer my life changes.
Warp speed - my focus is getting more (well, focused) precise.
A friend of mine said that he is putting in advance booking to become one of my groupies.
You, out of everybody I know, is going to be the first one to become famous.
Really!?
You don't say...
Fingers, knees and toes crossed and a prayer to the big G upstairs as I start the engine to this, my car and highway to a new life...
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Shots from Sex In La Cite
Steve and another cast member practice in front of a mirror (that's Steve's reflection in the mirror).
My life as a TV Sit-com...
Every other day, something happens in my life and I have to shake my head and say I have to write this stuff down cause nobody will ever believe me, and in two days, I will forget all the details...
Well, today was one of those days...
I was found out that a friend of mine pulled out al the stops to have me as a cinematographer for this corporate video that he will be directing. It's a video for some chartered accounting association - the aim of this mini-clip is to get kids who are just out of high school to make accounting an appealing choice. I am wondering how my friend is going to make a convincing argument to back that claim up. He has his work cut out for him and so do I...
Allow me to explain -
This is the real deal - the big thing. This is a well known production company with alot of pull in the city, and the company that wants this thing is paying big bucks to make it happen.
How big is Big Buks?
$35,000
That's their budget.
The first time I heard my friend tell me, I thought he said 3500$.
I almost had a hear attack when he corrected me.
Well, you see, I have worked on productions that have bee, well, under the $5000 mark. Peanuts when you consider the scope of this clip that I am working on.
This is the real deal !
If this thing ends up looking like shit, I will be in deep trouble!
I have been running around my house, flipping because I am wondering if I can actually pull this thing off! I mean, the director with whom I have worked with before loves my work - I mean he had to pull some serious strings to get me (a non -union member) to work on this aparently unionized shoot. He obviously believes in me enough to have him take on this project with him (his reputation is riding on this as much as mine is) but I AM SHITTING BRICKS!! I AM SOO NERVOUS! I have never pulled off anything like this of this magnitude before! This is big bucks!! BIG BUCKS! I think the key is to go in, bluffing my way through the whole thing, just like I did when Samantha asked me if I would write the play for her: Oh yea, no problem! It'll be a cinch!
And then I ran home, running around in circles, pulling out my hair saying:I can't do this! I have never written a play IN MY LIFE BEFORE!!
But here we are, two weeks away from the press showing, one month away from the actual play, and something that I could have never even conjured up in my wildest dreams is becoming a reality.
Wacky shit.
I wonder what I will be saying after this video!?!?
Crying or laughing?
Stay tuned!
So rehearsals today - it's amazing to see this thing come together! I saw the dance numbers this afternoon - and they are coming along amazingly well! Apparently, this play is already the buzz of the city. One of the top theater producers here in the city has already heard of it, and is on the jury for nominating the best play of the festival. Our fingers and toes are crossed...
I went out with Samantha for drinks. It was a beautiful night and we walked and talked alot. She is so elated with the play, and told me how she just knew that it was going to be me who would be able to translate her vision into reality.
How did you know!?
I just knew. I saw you, heard what you had to say, liked your ideas, felt comfortable with you right away, and just went with my gut.
Just like that?
Just like that. And I am so happy I did!
We reminisced about the rocky road the play has taken since it's inception - the director fiasco, the Carrie Bradshaw # 1 no go, our desperation to find a director (when one was right under our nose -Charlotte), finding the Greek and Italian mothers (yours truly) and then finding the right actors to play the right parts.
It's all coming together - it's all falling into place.
I told Samantha - mark my words - this is going to be the summer that our lives will change.
She smiled and agreed. I think she feels the same vibe that I do. The ball is rolling - it's been a long time coming. And we are all ready for our cameo.
You know, when we were having our first reading, with all the characters, everybody was laughing so hard. They were all amazed at how well written this play was! Remember when you walked in!? They were all still stunned!
I remember! I was turning beet red because everybody kept on gushing .
Well HPK - it is a brilliant play!
Not bad for a first timer eh?!
Its phenomenal!
We sat and imagined what this summer was going to be like - the rush of the performance, opening night, the encores, the crowds laughing at the jokes. I will be in shock - hearing all these people laughing at my jokes!! Funny thing, when I hear the actors reciting their lines, I can remember when I wrote each joke! A little trigger - that multi-fuckable joke was written at 5am on a Friday. It was Friday because I saw the recycling bins outside...
I am so floored.
I am in a state of buffered shock. Not quite really feeling the impact and magnitude of what I have done/created, but at the same time, feeling like I am observing it from a safe place - an observation tower of sorts.
God - so much emotion in one night, one day. After an emotionally draining weekend, this day of good news and elation goes a long way in healing me.
Onwards and upwards.
The best is yet to come...
Well, today was one of those days...
I was found out that a friend of mine pulled out al the stops to have me as a cinematographer for this corporate video that he will be directing. It's a video for some chartered accounting association - the aim of this mini-clip is to get kids who are just out of high school to make accounting an appealing choice. I am wondering how my friend is going to make a convincing argument to back that claim up. He has his work cut out for him and so do I...
Allow me to explain -
This is the real deal - the big thing. This is a well known production company with alot of pull in the city, and the company that wants this thing is paying big bucks to make it happen.
How big is Big Buks?
$35,000
That's their budget.
The first time I heard my friend tell me, I thought he said 3500$.
I almost had a hear attack when he corrected me.
Well, you see, I have worked on productions that have bee, well, under the $5000 mark. Peanuts when you consider the scope of this clip that I am working on.
This is the real deal !
If this thing ends up looking like shit, I will be in deep trouble!
I have been running around my house, flipping because I am wondering if I can actually pull this thing off! I mean, the director with whom I have worked with before loves my work - I mean he had to pull some serious strings to get me (a non -union member) to work on this aparently unionized shoot. He obviously believes in me enough to have him take on this project with him (his reputation is riding on this as much as mine is) but I AM SHITTING BRICKS!! I AM SOO NERVOUS! I have never pulled off anything like this of this magnitude before! This is big bucks!! BIG BUCKS! I think the key is to go in, bluffing my way through the whole thing, just like I did when Samantha asked me if I would write the play for her: Oh yea, no problem! It'll be a cinch!
And then I ran home, running around in circles, pulling out my hair saying:I can't do this! I have never written a play IN MY LIFE BEFORE!!
But here we are, two weeks away from the press showing, one month away from the actual play, and something that I could have never even conjured up in my wildest dreams is becoming a reality.
Wacky shit.
I wonder what I will be saying after this video!?!?
Crying or laughing?
Stay tuned!
So rehearsals today - it's amazing to see this thing come together! I saw the dance numbers this afternoon - and they are coming along amazingly well! Apparently, this play is already the buzz of the city. One of the top theater producers here in the city has already heard of it, and is on the jury for nominating the best play of the festival. Our fingers and toes are crossed...
I went out with Samantha for drinks. It was a beautiful night and we walked and talked alot. She is so elated with the play, and told me how she just knew that it was going to be me who would be able to translate her vision into reality.
How did you know!?
I just knew. I saw you, heard what you had to say, liked your ideas, felt comfortable with you right away, and just went with my gut.
Just like that?
Just like that. And I am so happy I did!
We reminisced about the rocky road the play has taken since it's inception - the director fiasco, the Carrie Bradshaw # 1 no go, our desperation to find a director (when one was right under our nose -Charlotte), finding the Greek and Italian mothers (yours truly) and then finding the right actors to play the right parts.
It's all coming together - it's all falling into place.
I told Samantha - mark my words - this is going to be the summer that our lives will change.
She smiled and agreed. I think she feels the same vibe that I do. The ball is rolling - it's been a long time coming. And we are all ready for our cameo.
You know, when we were having our first reading, with all the characters, everybody was laughing so hard. They were all amazed at how well written this play was! Remember when you walked in!? They were all still stunned!
I remember! I was turning beet red because everybody kept on gushing .
Well HPK - it is a brilliant play!
Not bad for a first timer eh?!
Its phenomenal!
We sat and imagined what this summer was going to be like - the rush of the performance, opening night, the encores, the crowds laughing at the jokes. I will be in shock - hearing all these people laughing at my jokes!! Funny thing, when I hear the actors reciting their lines, I can remember when I wrote each joke! A little trigger - that multi-fuckable joke was written at 5am on a Friday. It was Friday because I saw the recycling bins outside...
I am so floored.
I am in a state of buffered shock. Not quite really feeling the impact and magnitude of what I have done/created, but at the same time, feeling like I am observing it from a safe place - an observation tower of sorts.
God - so much emotion in one night, one day. After an emotionally draining weekend, this day of good news and elation goes a long way in healing me.
Onwards and upwards.
The best is yet to come...
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Little old me...
Well, today's rehearsal was a complete run through - which means that we actually acted out the whole play in it's entirety. I can't tell you what a weird feeling that was. I am still stunned thinking about it. I don't think this is all going to sink in until the first performance. I will be a happy/screaming/sobbing mess. All these emotions hitting me at once. I still can't believe that I managed to write this thing...
I still cant believe it.
Wow.
So everybody was there - we began with the first scene. It is amazing what actors, theater actors that is, can do with their bodies and expressions to make you think that they are somewhere where they are not. Maybe its because I wrote the damm thing I was able to visualize the whole scenario, but this group of people we have with us are absolutely hysterical - they are all so talented, and wonderful - I could not have asked for a better cast group of actors. And they all have the best sense of humor.
It's time like this that I treasure - when it all comes together.
And works.
Wow.
so 15 scenes later (yep - 15 ! I love to dream in technicolor and dolby sound. Did I ever mention that to you?) we were laughing hysterically, applauding and smiling. Aside from a few line glitches and stage kerfuffles, we were running 70 minutes - 10 minutes over the limit, but I told Samantha - "we are going to tighten up once we get the whole play and blocking in order. That will be at least 15 minutes right there!"
Charlotte and I were pretty pleased with the whole thing.
How does it feel to see your play with all the actors and the whole thing being played out?
It really is a dream come true!
Wow.
It was so funny - people were actually still laughing at the jokes! STILL LAUGHING! Almost 4 months into the show and they still find the stuff funny!
Wow.
But what really floored me was when Miranda came up to me and said:
You know HPK, your play changed my life. It's because of this play that I have decided to stay in this city. I was so ready to move back to my home town, nothing was working - I was having such a horrible winter and I really missed my family and friends. I was thinking I was into the wrong field - I was not getting any good roles and then - bang! Here was the play! Your play has done so many things for me - especially for my acting and I have you to thank you for that.
Her eyes started to get all teary as she threw her arms around me to give me a big hug.
my play actually made a difference in somebody's life.
my play.
my work.
How strange it was that only last year - December, I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do with my life - and quite literally - out of nowhere, Samantha and Charlotte found me.
And my life has changed to .
Thanks to them.
Thanks to me...
I still cant believe it.
Wow.
So everybody was there - we began with the first scene. It is amazing what actors, theater actors that is, can do with their bodies and expressions to make you think that they are somewhere where they are not. Maybe its because I wrote the damm thing I was able to visualize the whole scenario, but this group of people we have with us are absolutely hysterical - they are all so talented, and wonderful - I could not have asked for a better cast group of actors. And they all have the best sense of humor.
It's time like this that I treasure - when it all comes together.
And works.
Wow.
so 15 scenes later (yep - 15 ! I love to dream in technicolor and dolby sound. Did I ever mention that to you?) we were laughing hysterically, applauding and smiling. Aside from a few line glitches and stage kerfuffles, we were running 70 minutes - 10 minutes over the limit, but I told Samantha - "we are going to tighten up once we get the whole play and blocking in order. That will be at least 15 minutes right there!"
Charlotte and I were pretty pleased with the whole thing.
How does it feel to see your play with all the actors and the whole thing being played out?
It really is a dream come true!
Wow.
It was so funny - people were actually still laughing at the jokes! STILL LAUGHING! Almost 4 months into the show and they still find the stuff funny!
Wow.
But what really floored me was when Miranda came up to me and said:
You know HPK, your play changed my life. It's because of this play that I have decided to stay in this city. I was so ready to move back to my home town, nothing was working - I was having such a horrible winter and I really missed my family and friends. I was thinking I was into the wrong field - I was not getting any good roles and then - bang! Here was the play! Your play has done so many things for me - especially for my acting and I have you to thank you for that.
Her eyes started to get all teary as she threw her arms around me to give me a big hug.
my play actually made a difference in somebody's life.
my play.
my work.
How strange it was that only last year - December, I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do with my life - and quite literally - out of nowhere, Samantha and Charlotte found me.
And my life has changed to .
Thanks to them.
Thanks to me...
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Guerilla video camp
Well, things have been quite rock and roll since I have been away - too many seemingly good contracts have fizzled out much to my dismay. It's pretty shitty to find out that when you were counting on 700$ to come in, and then to find out that somebody said: oops you are too expensive, went with a friend of the family who will do it for $100, it makes me want to rip their eyes and my eyes out. Very pissy.
My overdraft on my bank is in overdrive.
I think they are going to send the overdraft police after me.
Something's gotta give.
I need money.
Fast!
But speaking of money, that is why I whored myself out last night at an ungodly hour. A good friend of mine called me just before SVU started (and missed the Office - just the most brilliant comedy show on tv since Scrubs!) and asked me : If I told you I had a job for you to do some video work, just in and around the streets of the city, would you do it? It would be 2 hours of work tonight, and two more tomorrow. We have a cam, mind you, it's not the top top of the line cam, but its good to do the job, and we will need this stuff tomorrow by 10am.
Hmm. 12 hours.
I made a film in just less than 36 with him, 12 hours was cutting it a bit close...
but being the money whore I am, I could not refuse, but immediately asked:
what is the pay!?
I'll let you talk to the producer.
I told my man that I would not do it for less than 200. I mean, 4 hours of work, last minute evening stuff, and then a 7am rush thing to do as well?? I wouldn't even get up for 40 bucks at 7am!!
I got a call back 5 minutes later. It was the producer.
It's a small budget, what is your rate?
As a photographer, it's between 75 and 200 (for complicated stuff), and this??? I was going to say 100.
That is too much, we have a really small budget. I can give you 100.
100?!?! And you want this when??!! I'll take 150. Final offer.
Okay 150 it is, see you in 1/2 hour when you come to pick up the camera.
So there we were, my man and I (bless his little heart) zipping around some industrial area in the middle of nowhere to find this place. I met my friend, and he explained to me what the deal was.
We want to show Montreal as a sexy city - this is for the tourism board. We need to sell to people who are about 29-50 with $$, so get lots of people kissing, good looking people and lots of goodlooking women. It's a nice night downtown, you should not have any trouble.
HA!!!!!!!!!
It was an absolute nightmare that followed me into he morning.
It must have been ugly teen people Tuesday night because there was nobody except young grunge kids, running around without their jackets, being loud and obnoxious. I managed to get one couple in a restaurant (the last one that was not closed!!) but caught a glimpse of the boyfriend who did not look in the least bit happy.
Hi - I love Montreal, and this is where and when my girlfriend dumped me!
Not good.
But seriously, there was nobody. And the minute I put the camera up to my waist - (did not even put it to my eye) people became suspicious! It was freaky! People ran away, hid their faces, you name it! I am far from being the papparazzi honey! And you are no Princess Diana okay!!
We actually went into two bars and there was nobody!! Mostly men trolling for single women. It was like a David Lynch meets Rod Serling in a bar somewhere in the Twilight Zone!
We went to a bar that my man had been to, and only one waitress agreed to be filmed, just smiling. It was not like I was asking these people to perform MacBeth or anything, but I could not believe how threatened people felt by the video camera! My film camera, point and shoot, nobody gets hurt, but video!! And size really does matter! A larger camera commands respect, but a little one the size of a big Mac? HA! HA!
And the last laugh was on me!
I managed to keep the camera on for about 4 minutes, filming my feet as I bitched about how last minute this was. Got home and crashed. 1AM. I had to be up in 5 hours.
God in heaven , so help me if I don't get paid for this!!
Got up at 6:30 and went downtown for 7am. Had to get the morning rush, but at the same time, get people who where not 'rushing' cause Montreal is not a rush rush city. BA!
Once again, I was tousled, brushed off, ignored, asked not to be filmed, and al kind of other things that ware too painful to remembered. Some people complied, but others freaked - turning into jello as soon as I lifted up this piece of electronic plastic and metal box!!! I got what I could and made my way out into the middle of what used to be a toxic waste dump (Angus Yards) and dropped off the cassette. I told my friend - well, gave him a disclaimer - had this been on a Friday night, it would have been more interesting. But Tuesday!!!!!!?!? I worked with what I had and did what I could do.
He thanked me and then I puttered home in the rain.
God! Am I pooped! They were supposed to have this thing ready by 5pm today. He has not called me - oops! I fear the worst!!
But I'll keep you posted! ;-)
My overdraft on my bank is in overdrive.
I think they are going to send the overdraft police after me.
Something's gotta give.
I need money.
Fast!
But speaking of money, that is why I whored myself out last night at an ungodly hour. A good friend of mine called me just before SVU started (and missed the Office - just the most brilliant comedy show on tv since Scrubs!) and asked me : If I told you I had a job for you to do some video work, just in and around the streets of the city, would you do it? It would be 2 hours of work tonight, and two more tomorrow. We have a cam, mind you, it's not the top top of the line cam, but its good to do the job, and we will need this stuff tomorrow by 10am.
Hmm. 12 hours.
I made a film in just less than 36 with him, 12 hours was cutting it a bit close...
but being the money whore I am, I could not refuse, but immediately asked:
what is the pay!?
I'll let you talk to the producer.
I told my man that I would not do it for less than 200. I mean, 4 hours of work, last minute evening stuff, and then a 7am rush thing to do as well?? I wouldn't even get up for 40 bucks at 7am!!
I got a call back 5 minutes later. It was the producer.
It's a small budget, what is your rate?
As a photographer, it's between 75 and 200 (for complicated stuff), and this??? I was going to say 100.
That is too much, we have a really small budget. I can give you 100.
100?!?! And you want this when??!! I'll take 150. Final offer.
Okay 150 it is, see you in 1/2 hour when you come to pick up the camera.
So there we were, my man and I (bless his little heart) zipping around some industrial area in the middle of nowhere to find this place. I met my friend, and he explained to me what the deal was.
We want to show Montreal as a sexy city - this is for the tourism board. We need to sell to people who are about 29-50 with $$, so get lots of people kissing, good looking people and lots of goodlooking women. It's a nice night downtown, you should not have any trouble.
HA!!!!!!!!!
It was an absolute nightmare that followed me into he morning.
It must have been ugly teen people Tuesday night because there was nobody except young grunge kids, running around without their jackets, being loud and obnoxious. I managed to get one couple in a restaurant (the last one that was not closed!!) but caught a glimpse of the boyfriend who did not look in the least bit happy.
Hi - I love Montreal, and this is where and when my girlfriend dumped me!
Not good.
But seriously, there was nobody. And the minute I put the camera up to my waist - (did not even put it to my eye) people became suspicious! It was freaky! People ran away, hid their faces, you name it! I am far from being the papparazzi honey! And you are no Princess Diana okay!!
We actually went into two bars and there was nobody!! Mostly men trolling for single women. It was like a David Lynch meets Rod Serling in a bar somewhere in the Twilight Zone!
We went to a bar that my man had been to, and only one waitress agreed to be filmed, just smiling. It was not like I was asking these people to perform MacBeth or anything, but I could not believe how threatened people felt by the video camera! My film camera, point and shoot, nobody gets hurt, but video!! And size really does matter! A larger camera commands respect, but a little one the size of a big Mac? HA! HA!
And the last laugh was on me!
I managed to keep the camera on for about 4 minutes, filming my feet as I bitched about how last minute this was. Got home and crashed. 1AM. I had to be up in 5 hours.
God in heaven , so help me if I don't get paid for this!!
Got up at 6:30 and went downtown for 7am. Had to get the morning rush, but at the same time, get people who where not 'rushing' cause Montreal is not a rush rush city. BA!
Once again, I was tousled, brushed off, ignored, asked not to be filmed, and al kind of other things that ware too painful to remembered. Some people complied, but others freaked - turning into jello as soon as I lifted up this piece of electronic plastic and metal box!!! I got what I could and made my way out into the middle of what used to be a toxic waste dump (Angus Yards) and dropped off the cassette. I told my friend - well, gave him a disclaimer - had this been on a Friday night, it would have been more interesting. But Tuesday!!!!!!?!? I worked with what I had and did what I could do.
He thanked me and then I puttered home in the rain.
God! Am I pooped! They were supposed to have this thing ready by 5pm today. He has not called me - oops! I fear the worst!!
But I'll keep you posted! ;-)
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Friday, April 22, 2005
Why we artsy fartsies tend to be emotional and sometimes wishy washy...
"Ah, you're so artsy fartsy!"
I hear that all the time.
And it bugs me.
It bugs me because there is such a negative connotation to it.
Artists all eat Alpo out of a can, we are all emotionally unstable, we are all perverts...
Yadda Yadda Yadda.
Yep, heard them all.
But you know what?
I think artists and ascetics are the only people who are really true to themselves - no bullshit, no putting on airs. We are what we are. Our art speaks for us about us. We live in the realm of questions because it is the seeking out of the answers, living in between the moments of those answers that make us curious about life...
So here is my attempt at trying to explain artist-fartsy ness to non artsy-fartsies...
The especially creative person is precisely he whose personality tensions are susceptible to adjustments ; he is more sensitive and suffers more, but he enjoys greater possibilities.
Rollo May
So far as the artist is concerned, the unlimited extent of human experience is nt so important for him as the depth and intensity with which he experiences thing.
Thomas Wolfe
Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for answers. They cannot no be given to you because you could not live them. it is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.
Rainer Maria Rilke
I think people should stop looking at us from the outside, and take a glimpse at the beauty on the inside...
I hear that all the time.
And it bugs me.
It bugs me because there is such a negative connotation to it.
Artists all eat Alpo out of a can, we are all emotionally unstable, we are all perverts...
Yadda Yadda Yadda.
Yep, heard them all.
But you know what?
I think artists and ascetics are the only people who are really true to themselves - no bullshit, no putting on airs. We are what we are. Our art speaks for us about us. We live in the realm of questions because it is the seeking out of the answers, living in between the moments of those answers that make us curious about life...
So here is my attempt at trying to explain artist-fartsy ness to non artsy-fartsies...
The especially creative person is precisely he whose personality tensions are susceptible to adjustments ; he is more sensitive and suffers more, but he enjoys greater possibilities.
Rollo May
So far as the artist is concerned, the unlimited extent of human experience is nt so important for him as the depth and intensity with which he experiences thing.
Thomas Wolfe
Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for answers. They cannot no be given to you because you could not live them. it is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.
Rainer Maria Rilke
I think people should stop looking at us from the outside, and take a glimpse at the beauty on the inside...
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)