Well, today's rehearsal was a complete run through - which means that we actually acted out the whole play in it's entirety. I can't tell you what a weird feeling that was. I am still stunned thinking about it. I don't think this is all going to sink in until the first performance. I will be a happy/screaming/sobbing mess. All these emotions hitting me at once. I still can't believe that I managed to write this thing...
I still cant believe it.
Wow.
So everybody was there - we began with the first scene. It is amazing what actors, theater actors that is, can do with their bodies and expressions to make you think that they are somewhere where they are not. Maybe its because I wrote the damm thing I was able to visualize the whole scenario, but this group of people we have with us are absolutely hysterical - they are all so talented, and wonderful - I could not have asked for a better cast group of actors. And they all have the best sense of humor.
It's time like this that I treasure - when it all comes together.
And works.
Wow.
so 15 scenes later (yep - 15 ! I love to dream in technicolor and dolby sound. Did I ever mention that to you?) we were laughing hysterically, applauding and smiling. Aside from a few line glitches and stage kerfuffles, we were running 70 minutes - 10 minutes over the limit, but I told Samantha - "we are going to tighten up once we get the whole play and blocking in order. That will be at least 15 minutes right there!"
Charlotte and I were pretty pleased with the whole thing.
How does it feel to see your play with all the actors and the whole thing being played out?
It really is a dream come true!
Wow.
It was so funny - people were actually still laughing at the jokes! STILL LAUGHING! Almost 4 months into the show and they still find the stuff funny!
Wow.
But what really floored me was when Miranda came up to me and said:
You know HPK, your play changed my life. It's because of this play that I have decided to stay in this city. I was so ready to move back to my home town, nothing was working - I was having such a horrible winter and I really missed my family and friends. I was thinking I was into the wrong field - I was not getting any good roles and then - bang! Here was the play! Your play has done so many things for me - especially for my acting and I have you to thank you for that.
Her eyes started to get all teary as she threw her arms around me to give me a big hug.
my play actually made a difference in somebody's life.
my play.
my work.
How strange it was that only last year - December, I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do with my life - and quite literally - out of nowhere, Samantha and Charlotte found me.
And my life has changed to .
Thanks to them.
Thanks to me...
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Guerilla video camp
Well, things have been quite rock and roll since I have been away - too many seemingly good contracts have fizzled out much to my dismay. It's pretty shitty to find out that when you were counting on 700$ to come in, and then to find out that somebody said: oops you are too expensive, went with a friend of the family who will do it for $100, it makes me want to rip their eyes and my eyes out. Very pissy.
My overdraft on my bank is in overdrive.
I think they are going to send the overdraft police after me.
Something's gotta give.
I need money.
Fast!
But speaking of money, that is why I whored myself out last night at an ungodly hour. A good friend of mine called me just before SVU started (and missed the Office - just the most brilliant comedy show on tv since Scrubs!) and asked me : If I told you I had a job for you to do some video work, just in and around the streets of the city, would you do it? It would be 2 hours of work tonight, and two more tomorrow. We have a cam, mind you, it's not the top top of the line cam, but its good to do the job, and we will need this stuff tomorrow by 10am.
Hmm. 12 hours.
I made a film in just less than 36 with him, 12 hours was cutting it a bit close...
but being the money whore I am, I could not refuse, but immediately asked:
what is the pay!?
I'll let you talk to the producer.
I told my man that I would not do it for less than 200. I mean, 4 hours of work, last minute evening stuff, and then a 7am rush thing to do as well?? I wouldn't even get up for 40 bucks at 7am!!
I got a call back 5 minutes later. It was the producer.
It's a small budget, what is your rate?
As a photographer, it's between 75 and 200 (for complicated stuff), and this??? I was going to say 100.
That is too much, we have a really small budget. I can give you 100.
100?!?! And you want this when??!! I'll take 150. Final offer.
Okay 150 it is, see you in 1/2 hour when you come to pick up the camera.
So there we were, my man and I (bless his little heart) zipping around some industrial area in the middle of nowhere to find this place. I met my friend, and he explained to me what the deal was.
We want to show Montreal as a sexy city - this is for the tourism board. We need to sell to people who are about 29-50 with $$, so get lots of people kissing, good looking people and lots of goodlooking women. It's a nice night downtown, you should not have any trouble.
HA!!!!!!!!!
It was an absolute nightmare that followed me into he morning.
It must have been ugly teen people Tuesday night because there was nobody except young grunge kids, running around without their jackets, being loud and obnoxious. I managed to get one couple in a restaurant (the last one that was not closed!!) but caught a glimpse of the boyfriend who did not look in the least bit happy.
Hi - I love Montreal, and this is where and when my girlfriend dumped me!
Not good.
But seriously, there was nobody. And the minute I put the camera up to my waist - (did not even put it to my eye) people became suspicious! It was freaky! People ran away, hid their faces, you name it! I am far from being the papparazzi honey! And you are no Princess Diana okay!!
We actually went into two bars and there was nobody!! Mostly men trolling for single women. It was like a David Lynch meets Rod Serling in a bar somewhere in the Twilight Zone!
We went to a bar that my man had been to, and only one waitress agreed to be filmed, just smiling. It was not like I was asking these people to perform MacBeth or anything, but I could not believe how threatened people felt by the video camera! My film camera, point and shoot, nobody gets hurt, but video!! And size really does matter! A larger camera commands respect, but a little one the size of a big Mac? HA! HA!
And the last laugh was on me!
I managed to keep the camera on for about 4 minutes, filming my feet as I bitched about how last minute this was. Got home and crashed. 1AM. I had to be up in 5 hours.
God in heaven , so help me if I don't get paid for this!!
Got up at 6:30 and went downtown for 7am. Had to get the morning rush, but at the same time, get people who where not 'rushing' cause Montreal is not a rush rush city. BA!
Once again, I was tousled, brushed off, ignored, asked not to be filmed, and al kind of other things that ware too painful to remembered. Some people complied, but others freaked - turning into jello as soon as I lifted up this piece of electronic plastic and metal box!!! I got what I could and made my way out into the middle of what used to be a toxic waste dump (Angus Yards) and dropped off the cassette. I told my friend - well, gave him a disclaimer - had this been on a Friday night, it would have been more interesting. But Tuesday!!!!!!?!? I worked with what I had and did what I could do.
He thanked me and then I puttered home in the rain.
God! Am I pooped! They were supposed to have this thing ready by 5pm today. He has not called me - oops! I fear the worst!!
But I'll keep you posted! ;-)
My overdraft on my bank is in overdrive.
I think they are going to send the overdraft police after me.
Something's gotta give.
I need money.
Fast!
But speaking of money, that is why I whored myself out last night at an ungodly hour. A good friend of mine called me just before SVU started (and missed the Office - just the most brilliant comedy show on tv since Scrubs!) and asked me : If I told you I had a job for you to do some video work, just in and around the streets of the city, would you do it? It would be 2 hours of work tonight, and two more tomorrow. We have a cam, mind you, it's not the top top of the line cam, but its good to do the job, and we will need this stuff tomorrow by 10am.
Hmm. 12 hours.
I made a film in just less than 36 with him, 12 hours was cutting it a bit close...
but being the money whore I am, I could not refuse, but immediately asked:
what is the pay!?
I'll let you talk to the producer.
I told my man that I would not do it for less than 200. I mean, 4 hours of work, last minute evening stuff, and then a 7am rush thing to do as well?? I wouldn't even get up for 40 bucks at 7am!!
I got a call back 5 minutes later. It was the producer.
It's a small budget, what is your rate?
As a photographer, it's between 75 and 200 (for complicated stuff), and this??? I was going to say 100.
That is too much, we have a really small budget. I can give you 100.
100?!?! And you want this when??!! I'll take 150. Final offer.
Okay 150 it is, see you in 1/2 hour when you come to pick up the camera.
So there we were, my man and I (bless his little heart) zipping around some industrial area in the middle of nowhere to find this place. I met my friend, and he explained to me what the deal was.
We want to show Montreal as a sexy city - this is for the tourism board. We need to sell to people who are about 29-50 with $$, so get lots of people kissing, good looking people and lots of goodlooking women. It's a nice night downtown, you should not have any trouble.
HA!!!!!!!!!
It was an absolute nightmare that followed me into he morning.
It must have been ugly teen people Tuesday night because there was nobody except young grunge kids, running around without their jackets, being loud and obnoxious. I managed to get one couple in a restaurant (the last one that was not closed!!) but caught a glimpse of the boyfriend who did not look in the least bit happy.
Hi - I love Montreal, and this is where and when my girlfriend dumped me!
Not good.
But seriously, there was nobody. And the minute I put the camera up to my waist - (did not even put it to my eye) people became suspicious! It was freaky! People ran away, hid their faces, you name it! I am far from being the papparazzi honey! And you are no Princess Diana okay!!
We actually went into two bars and there was nobody!! Mostly men trolling for single women. It was like a David Lynch meets Rod Serling in a bar somewhere in the Twilight Zone!
We went to a bar that my man had been to, and only one waitress agreed to be filmed, just smiling. It was not like I was asking these people to perform MacBeth or anything, but I could not believe how threatened people felt by the video camera! My film camera, point and shoot, nobody gets hurt, but video!! And size really does matter! A larger camera commands respect, but a little one the size of a big Mac? HA! HA!
And the last laugh was on me!
I managed to keep the camera on for about 4 minutes, filming my feet as I bitched about how last minute this was. Got home and crashed. 1AM. I had to be up in 5 hours.
God in heaven , so help me if I don't get paid for this!!
Got up at 6:30 and went downtown for 7am. Had to get the morning rush, but at the same time, get people who where not 'rushing' cause Montreal is not a rush rush city. BA!
Once again, I was tousled, brushed off, ignored, asked not to be filmed, and al kind of other things that ware too painful to remembered. Some people complied, but others freaked - turning into jello as soon as I lifted up this piece of electronic plastic and metal box!!! I got what I could and made my way out into the middle of what used to be a toxic waste dump (Angus Yards) and dropped off the cassette. I told my friend - well, gave him a disclaimer - had this been on a Friday night, it would have been more interesting. But Tuesday!!!!!!?!? I worked with what I had and did what I could do.
He thanked me and then I puttered home in the rain.
God! Am I pooped! They were supposed to have this thing ready by 5pm today. He has not called me - oops! I fear the worst!!
But I'll keep you posted! ;-)
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Friday, April 22, 2005
Why we artsy fartsies tend to be emotional and sometimes wishy washy...
"Ah, you're so artsy fartsy!"
I hear that all the time.
And it bugs me.
It bugs me because there is such a negative connotation to it.
Artists all eat Alpo out of a can, we are all emotionally unstable, we are all perverts...
Yadda Yadda Yadda.
Yep, heard them all.
But you know what?
I think artists and ascetics are the only people who are really true to themselves - no bullshit, no putting on airs. We are what we are. Our art speaks for us about us. We live in the realm of questions because it is the seeking out of the answers, living in between the moments of those answers that make us curious about life...
So here is my attempt at trying to explain artist-fartsy ness to non artsy-fartsies...
The especially creative person is precisely he whose personality tensions are susceptible to adjustments ; he is more sensitive and suffers more, but he enjoys greater possibilities.
Rollo May
So far as the artist is concerned, the unlimited extent of human experience is nt so important for him as the depth and intensity with which he experiences thing.
Thomas Wolfe
Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for answers. They cannot no be given to you because you could not live them. it is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.
Rainer Maria Rilke
I think people should stop looking at us from the outside, and take a glimpse at the beauty on the inside...
I hear that all the time.
And it bugs me.
It bugs me because there is such a negative connotation to it.
Artists all eat Alpo out of a can, we are all emotionally unstable, we are all perverts...
Yadda Yadda Yadda.
Yep, heard them all.
But you know what?
I think artists and ascetics are the only people who are really true to themselves - no bullshit, no putting on airs. We are what we are. Our art speaks for us about us. We live in the realm of questions because it is the seeking out of the answers, living in between the moments of those answers that make us curious about life...
So here is my attempt at trying to explain artist-fartsy ness to non artsy-fartsies...
The especially creative person is precisely he whose personality tensions are susceptible to adjustments ; he is more sensitive and suffers more, but he enjoys greater possibilities.
Rollo May
So far as the artist is concerned, the unlimited extent of human experience is nt so important for him as the depth and intensity with which he experiences thing.
Thomas Wolfe
Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for answers. They cannot no be given to you because you could not live them. it is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.
Rainer Maria Rilke
I think people should stop looking at us from the outside, and take a glimpse at the beauty on the inside...
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Hello my friends, it's been awhile...
Hello my friends, it's been a while...
Where do I begin?
Well, the play is moving along swimmingly well, despite the regular mishaps, when people don't show up for certain scenes, rehearsals get cancelled, script changes, we hire and fire new actors...
Yep, all is good at the zoo for disturbed animals that we are now calling a cast and play.
I now have newfound respect for actors.
Their jobs are not easy!
Coming from a film background, I was used to having actors look directly into the camera, or acknowledge the camera's presence, but with theatre - you have to play to the audience. So many rules I feel like I am having to re-learn and forget everything else that I learned about film, for film because these are two different kinds of wildlife and both are hard to tame!
Lessons I have learned so far:
-look into the audience when you have an emotional pivotal moment
When I, the irate mother find my son and Samantha about to go at it, I flip out. At one point, I pull a whole martyr bit - 'are you trying to kill me??" . When I say this, I would usually turn to the actor himself - well, I can't tell you how many times charlotte (the director) yelled at me with 'LOOK AT ME!! LOOK AT ME!!!". It's very awkward, but apparently, when you play to the audience, and let them into our 'moments', they feel like they are more involved with what they are seeing on the stage.
- don't hide your face.
Apparently I have a tendency to hide my face when I am doing my 'big hand gestures' - re: Italian mother. "Make your gestures wide! Exaggerate! Wider ! more open!! "I have shouted to me from the director's chair.
It is all a lesson in how to be comfortable with your body and exaggeration is the key - people in the 5 th row as well as the 55th row have to see you too. Funny though, when I first started acting in films, they told me I was too theatrical, now I am not enough... These snowbushes people are so picky!
And needless to say - being over the top is exhausting! In two scenes, I come out ranting and screaming, mind you, they are really short scenes, but nonetheless! Try doing that over and over again for 3 hours straight!!
Who would have thought that showbiz would be so much work!!
Well, on that note, I am completely spent but will return with some more rants and news ;-)
Where do I begin?
Well, the play is moving along swimmingly well, despite the regular mishaps, when people don't show up for certain scenes, rehearsals get cancelled, script changes, we hire and fire new actors...
Yep, all is good at the zoo for disturbed animals that we are now calling a cast and play.
I now have newfound respect for actors.
Their jobs are not easy!
Coming from a film background, I was used to having actors look directly into the camera, or acknowledge the camera's presence, but with theatre - you have to play to the audience. So many rules I feel like I am having to re-learn and forget everything else that I learned about film, for film because these are two different kinds of wildlife and both are hard to tame!
Lessons I have learned so far:
-look into the audience when you have an emotional pivotal moment
When I, the irate mother find my son and Samantha about to go at it, I flip out. At one point, I pull a whole martyr bit - 'are you trying to kill me??" . When I say this, I would usually turn to the actor himself - well, I can't tell you how many times charlotte (the director) yelled at me with 'LOOK AT ME!! LOOK AT ME!!!". It's very awkward, but apparently, when you play to the audience, and let them into our 'moments', they feel like they are more involved with what they are seeing on the stage.
- don't hide your face.
Apparently I have a tendency to hide my face when I am doing my 'big hand gestures' - re: Italian mother. "Make your gestures wide! Exaggerate! Wider ! more open!! "I have shouted to me from the director's chair.
It is all a lesson in how to be comfortable with your body and exaggeration is the key - people in the 5 th row as well as the 55th row have to see you too. Funny though, when I first started acting in films, they told me I was too theatrical, now I am not enough... These snowbushes people are so picky!
And needless to say - being over the top is exhausting! In two scenes, I come out ranting and screaming, mind you, they are really short scenes, but nonetheless! Try doing that over and over again for 3 hours straight!!
Who would have thought that showbiz would be so much work!!
Well, on that note, I am completely spent but will return with some more rants and news ;-)
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
A hello before I zzzz.
I am back - will be coming back to write again!!
Had a wild weekend - birthday, birthday parties and the like, will come back with lots of stories and updated for you all!!
And the latest - we ditched out famous carrie bradshaw !
We had a rising star in our midst and we didn't even know it!
Its all good.
;-)
And thank you all for the birthday wishes!!!
Had a wild weekend - birthday, birthday parties and the like, will come back with lots of stories and updated for you all!!
And the latest - we ditched out famous carrie bradshaw !
We had a rising star in our midst and we didn't even know it!
Its all good.
;-)
And thank you all for the birthday wishes!!!
Monday, April 04, 2005
April 4, 1968
This is the day I was born. This is the day that Martin Luther King Jr. was shot.
I remember two very important things today...
And this is what Elle says about me:
Monday, April 04
Happy Birthday, Aries! You recognize the satisfaction and value in handcrafting a life, career and relationship. You develop feelings of trust and confidence over time. Slow to change your commitments and attitudes, you may remain in difficult circumstances longer than most. There is something Spartan in your character, causing you to feel undeserving of certain benefits or comforts. You take the attitude of ‘I made my bed – and I must lie in it.’ You may struggle with depression and loneliness, and frequently feel like an outsider observing the world through a hazy window. Skilled at reading others’ moods and intentions, you become a repository for others’ discarded emotions and thoughts. For this reason alone, you must be ultra careful about the company you keep. You have a deep urge to hatch an idea, then nurture it to success, with or without the understanding and support of others. It’s essential that you select worthy goals and activities, because once you get started on a path, it’s difficult for you to change direction. You may be obsessive or addictive in your approach to life, work, lifestyle, and relationships. If things are healthy, fulfilling, and successful, all is well. But if you veer onto a darker path, you may plunge deep into an endless midnight without recognizing the warning signs. Avoid anything that diminishes or destroys. You are apt to become notorious in whatever you pursue because you focus so intently on the goal at hand. At times, it appears you’re living life with blinders on, missing important signals and alternatives that could offer happiness. You need strong, honest friends able to confront you when you’re heading down the wrong road. Because you’re determined to achieve objectives, you must select goals and dreams worth sacrificing for. Born today: are Craig Adams, Maya Angelou, David Blaine, Clive Davis, Robert Downey, Jr, Christophe Franke, Steve Gatlin, Peter Haycock, David E. Kelley, Christine Lahti, Heath Ledger, Natasha Lyonne, Caroline McWilliams, Gary Moore, Nancy McKeon, Robby Mueller, Craig T. Nelson, Eric Rohmer, Jill Scott, Catherine Spaak, Jamie Lynn Spears, Mike Starr, Pick Withers, Elmer Bernstein, Dorothea Dix, Marguerite Duras, Berry Oakley, Anthony Perkins, Robert Emmet Sherwood, and Muddy Waters.
I remember two very important things today...
And this is what Elle says about me:
Monday, April 04
Happy Birthday, Aries! You recognize the satisfaction and value in handcrafting a life, career and relationship. You develop feelings of trust and confidence over time. Slow to change your commitments and attitudes, you may remain in difficult circumstances longer than most. There is something Spartan in your character, causing you to feel undeserving of certain benefits or comforts. You take the attitude of ‘I made my bed – and I must lie in it.’ You may struggle with depression and loneliness, and frequently feel like an outsider observing the world through a hazy window. Skilled at reading others’ moods and intentions, you become a repository for others’ discarded emotions and thoughts. For this reason alone, you must be ultra careful about the company you keep. You have a deep urge to hatch an idea, then nurture it to success, with or without the understanding and support of others. It’s essential that you select worthy goals and activities, because once you get started on a path, it’s difficult for you to change direction. You may be obsessive or addictive in your approach to life, work, lifestyle, and relationships. If things are healthy, fulfilling, and successful, all is well. But if you veer onto a darker path, you may plunge deep into an endless midnight without recognizing the warning signs. Avoid anything that diminishes or destroys. You are apt to become notorious in whatever you pursue because you focus so intently on the goal at hand. At times, it appears you’re living life with blinders on, missing important signals and alternatives that could offer happiness. You need strong, honest friends able to confront you when you’re heading down the wrong road. Because you’re determined to achieve objectives, you must select goals and dreams worth sacrificing for. Born today: are Craig Adams, Maya Angelou, David Blaine, Clive Davis, Robert Downey, Jr, Christophe Franke, Steve Gatlin, Peter Haycock, David E. Kelley, Christine Lahti, Heath Ledger, Natasha Lyonne, Caroline McWilliams, Gary Moore, Nancy McKeon, Robby Mueller, Craig T. Nelson, Eric Rohmer, Jill Scott, Catherine Spaak, Jamie Lynn Spears, Mike Starr, Pick Withers, Elmer Bernstein, Dorothea Dix, Marguerite Duras, Berry Oakley, Anthony Perkins, Robert Emmet Sherwood, and Muddy Waters.
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