Monday, June 29, 2009

Damn, I am fine. You should see me in a speedo...

Thank you for stopping by my friend.
You always seem to pick the perfect moment to shed some light on my darkest days :-)

Thank you for sharing this manifesto.
I was so impressed, I decided to copy it here too





AN INCOMPLETE MANIFESTO FOR GROWTH

Written in 1998, the Incomplete Manifesto is an articulation of statements exemplifying Bruce Mau’s beliefs, strategies and motivations. Collectively, they are how we approach every project.
  1. Allow events to change you.You have to be willing to grow. Growth is different from something that happens to you. You produce it. You live it. The prerequisites for growth: the openness to experience events and the willingness to be changed by them.
  2. Forget about good.Good is a known quantity. Good is what we all agree on. Growth is not necessarily good. Growth is an exploration of unlit recesses that may or may not yield to our research. As long as you stick to good you'll never have real growth.
  3. Process is more important than outcome.When the outcome drives the process we will only ever go to where we've already been. If process drives outcome we may not know where we’re going, but we will know we want to be there.
  4. Love your experiments (as you would an ugly child).Joy is the engine of growth. Exploit the liberty in casting your work as beautiful experiments, iterations, attempts, trials, and errors. Take the long view and allow yourself the fun of failure every day.
  5. Go deep.The deeper you go the more likely you will discover something of value.
  6. Capture accidents.The wrong answer is the right answer in search of a different question. Collect wrong answers as part of the process. Ask different questions.
  7. Study.A studio is a place of study. Use the necessity of production as an excuse to study. Everyone will benefit.
  8. Drift.Allow yourself to wander aimlessly. Explore adjacencies. Lack judgment. Postpone criticism.
  9. Begin anywhere.John Cage tells us that not knowing where to begin is a common form of paralysis. His advice: begin anywhere.
  10. Everyone is a leader.Growth happens. Whenever it does, allow it to emerge. Learn to follow when it makes sense. Let anyone lead.
  11. Harvest ideas.Edit applications. Ideas need a dynamic, fluid, generous environment to sustain life. Applications, on the other hand, benefit from critical rigor. Produce a high ratio of ideas to applications.
  12. Keep moving.The market and its operations have a tendency to reinforce success. Resist it. Allow failure and migration to be part of your practice.
  13. Slow down.Desynchronize from standard time frames and surprising opportunities may present themselves.
  14. Don’t be cool.Cool is conservative fear dressed in black. Free yourself from limits of this sort.
  15. Ask stupid questions.Growth is fueled by desire and innocence. Assess the answer, not the question. Imagine learning throughout your life at the rate of an infant.
  16. Collaborate.The space between people working together is filled with conflict, friction, strife, exhilaration, delight, and vast creative potential.
  17. ____________________.Intentionally left blank. Allow space for the ideas you haven’t had yet, and for the ideas of others.
  18. Stay up late.Strange things happen when you’ve gone too far, been up too long, worked too hard, and you're separated from the rest of the world.
  19. Work the metaphor.Every object has the capacity to stand for something other than what is apparent. Work on what it stands for.
  20. Be careful to take risks.Time is genetic. Today is the child of yesterday and the parent of tomorrow. The work you produce today will create your future.
  21. Repeat yourself.If you like it, do it again. If you don’t like it, do it again.
  22. Make your own tools.Hybridize your tools in order to build unique things. Even simple tools that are your own can yield entirely new avenues of exploration. Remember, tools amplify our capacities, so even a small tool can make a big difference.
  23. Stand on someone’s shoulders.You can travel farther carried on the accomplishments of those who came before you. And the view is so much better.
  24. Avoid software.The problem with software is that everyone has it.
  25. Don’t clean your desk.You might find something in the morning that you can’t see tonight.
  26. Don’t enter awards competitions.Just don’t. It’s not good for you.
  27. Read only left-hand pages.Marshall McLuhan did this. By decreasing the amount of information, we leave room for what he called our "noodle."
  28. Make new words.Expand the lexicon. The new conditions demand a new way of thinking. The thinking demands new forms of expression. The expression generates new conditions.
  29. Think with your mind.Forget technology. Creativity is not device-dependent.
  30. Organization = Liberty.Real innovation in design, or any other field, happens in context. That context is usually some form of cooperatively managed enterprise. Frank Gehry, for instance, is only able to realize Bilbao because his studio can deliver it on budget. The myth of a split between "creatives" and "suits" is what Leonard Cohen calls a 'charming artifact of the past.'
  31. Don’t borrow money.Once again, Frank Gehry’s advice. By maintaining financial control, we maintain creative control. It’s not exactly rocket science, but it’s surprising how hard it is to maintain this discipline, and how many have failed.
  32. Listen carefully.Every collaborator who enters our orbit brings with him or her a world more strange and complex than any we could ever hope to imagine. By listening to the details and the subtlety of their needs, desires, or ambitions, we fold their world onto our own. Neither party will ever be the same.
  33. Take field trips.The bandwidth of the world is greater than that of your TV set, or the Internet, or even a totally immersive, interactive, dynamically rendered, object-oriented, real-time, computer graphic–simulated environment.
  34. Make mistakes faster.This isn’t my idea -- I borrowed it. I think it belongs to Andy Grove.
  35. Imitate.Don’t be shy about it. Try to get as close as you can. You'll never get all the way, and the separation might be truly remarkable. We have only to look to Richard Hamilton and his version of Marcel Duchamp’s large glass to see how rich, discredited, and underused imitation is as a technique.
  36. Scat.When you forget the words, do what Ella did: make up something else ... but not words.
  37. Break it, stretch it, bend it, crush it, crack it, fold it.
  38. Explore the other edge.Great liberty exists when we avoid trying to run with the technological pack. We can’t find the leading edge because it’s trampled underfoot. Try using old-tech equipment made obsolete by an economic cycle but still rich with potential.
  39. Coffee breaks, cab rides, green rooms.Real growth often happens outside of where we intend it to, in the interstitial spaces -- what Dr. Seuss calls "the waiting place." Hans Ulrich Obrist once organized a science and art conference with all of the infrastructure of a conference -- the parties, chats, lunches, airport arrivals — but with no actual conference. Apparently it was hugely successful and spawned many ongoing collaborations.
  40. Avoid fields.Jump fences. Disciplinary boundaries and regulatory regimes are attempts to control the wilding of creative life. They are often understandable efforts to order what are manifold, complex, evolutionary processes. Our job is to jump the fences and cross the fields.
  41. Laugh.People visiting the studio often comment on how much we laugh. Since I've become aware of this, I use it as a barometer of how comfortably we are expressing ourselves.
  42. Remember.Growth is only possible as a product of history. Without memory, innovation is merely novelty. History gives growth a direction. But a memory is never perfect. Every memory is a degraded or composite image of a previous moment or event. That’s what makes us aware of its quality as a past and not a present. It means that every memory is new, a partial construct different from its source, and, as such, a potential for growth itself.
  43. Power to the people.Play can only happen when people feel they have control over their lives. We can't be free agents if we’re not free.


and so the saga continues...

I don't know what to say...

I was beyond "floored" when I got this.

E and I had just come back from an AMAZING vacation in Cuba (God, I love that place) - sun, sand and good times. We were both well rested (it took E a big longer - he actually had two conference calls, or attempts at conference calls - not to mention that my cell bill is going to be over 500$ for sure, and only really began to relax mid week) and came back refreshed and tanned. We had never been on vacation together before - never a "real" vacation that didn't involve camping or "rolling work into a vacation" tip, so this message was such a ice cold welcome back home.

On shitbook, unless somebody creates a "subject line" for a message, only the first few lines appear in the "from" line. So there I was, all excited about this nice note from dad, which quickly turned into sobs of anger and frustration.

Seriously - what the fuck?!

I suggest that you read the following entries to really get the gist of what is going on. After you read part 1 and part 2 you will have a new appreciation of how confused I am as how to reply.


HPK,

Your wedding was a dream. Your beauty and E's personality were the tops. The location and setting were "A" class and once again I congratulate the both of you.


Something was out of line and hit me hard. As I was not any part of your wedding, I wondered why..... was I invited.


I have to express my deep hurt feelings as I felt so much like an outcast.


No pictures of you and I were taken. Not even one.

I was not even part of "The Family Reception Line " to meet all of your guests. At that moment...... I felt like leaving......, but decided to say as I had to much respect for your wedding day.


Your comment to me on the reception line "THANKS FOR COMING" as if me ...DAD, was considered as a GUEST. That hurt ..the most.


Not once did you come personally to see your Dad and talk for a bit.


I refer to my email of the of March and your reply in which both our us had suffered enough over the past 30 years and the mending time as GROWN ADULTS were in process and turn the pages of the past and begin a new loving one as Father and Daughter.


I was hoping for this change to be and you had a chance to mend things together at your wedding...... obliviously it was far from your process and now I realize the true picture.


30 years is a long time to carry a grudge , and life must go on through many more tough hurdles and ever so passes by so quickly.


You made your choice and I accept your decision to keep your "Father of the Bride", regardless of the past, out of the pictures on this truly special daughters marriage occasion.


So...... as I now will turn another page in my life with you, I wish the both of you Happiness.



Tuesday, June 09, 2009

happy fragments - a memory of a magical night

I will have to do this in fragments
it's late, and oddly enough, past my new bedtime hour, but I have to take the memories where and when I can find them - so here they are, a few at a time.


Incredible - the weather, the place, the dress, the mood, the food.
ohh. the food was sooo good!

Memories - the Limo
And go figure, it was called the Presidential limo. No letter from Obama, but like mom said: "at least we got the Presidential Limo!" I hope somebody got a shot of me leaning near the crest making a thumbs up.
Lori could not believe how calm i was, and kept on saying so. I too was calm. Don't know how I did it, but I was. Even Ma. Neither of us cried (I don't think she did) but i was stoic, peaceful throughout.
Yea, I guess I rocked.

Dancing 
Remember at some point, Betty telling everybody to do the conga line - follow the bride. Remember looking back and seeing about 15 people waving their arms in the air - mimicking my steps. Too funny!

The ceremony
The superman blessing. How cool was that?
Seeing E tear up as he was reciting the vows. That took my breath away. How sweet was that?
Oh that had to be the best mass I have ever attended in my whole life.
That day, Fr. Gerry made us all see how cool God was...

Remember standing at the bottom of the steps, waiting for Scott, and looking outside and seeing Auntie Lilly and Uncle Stanley coming out of the car. Their fragile bodies slowly making their way up the stairs. That moved me so very much that they took the time and effort to come.

Walking down the isle - the British Airways commercial in the background on a Cassavant organ. Betty flagging me and my mom down - "Don't walk so fast! Slow Down!"
Me walking slowly, taking it all in, looking at all the faces looking at me, and then as I got closer, E looked over to me and smiled.

Sitting there, listening to Fr. Gerry talk about how he knew me, met eric, his connection to the Pols and Slovaks, the whole unity thing. He should be speech writing for Obama...
And then the vows. Facing the crowd. That was so new. I wasn't nervous. I could tell E was tho.
Still can't believe how calm i was. Don't know what came over me. And it was only .25 of an Ativan. Baby dose. And I only took it in the limo for backup; and in retrospect, I don't think I even needed it.

Our first dance.
That actually turned out to be no too painful. E was lubed up, but i was yet to discover the joys of having an open bar.  Perhaps it was a good thing he was smoothed - no counting and bobbing his head. Yea, I guess it was a good thing. We hit our mark on the end - photo finish. Everybody loved it. Auntie and Uncle told ma that we "were the new generation of dancers". Coming from two former champions, that rocked.

and I ended up wearing the shoes I wore the first time. The shoemaker made the others too big. A disappointment to me and E, but the other shoes brought us good luck. They were happy feet again.

The food - oh how awesome it was!
Really enjoyed it. But that whole Little Miss M meltdown at the table as E did his speech. Hmmm. Thank God E's joke saved the moment.

And the whole cupcake table - that was such an awesome job Anayiz did!! I hope lots of people took lots of photos of it!
And to hear how much everybody loved the whole get up - theme tables, the cd's, cupcakes etc. All that hard work, late nights were worth it.

The shoot at the park.
That was nice. Oh the weather was just perfect.
I had been terrified all the way home from the hair salon. Grey, cold, and getting darker by the minute. At one point, it even began to sprinkle, and like magic - the clouds parted, the sun came out, the temperature rose and as I stepped out of the house, into the limo - summer began.

It was so nice to walk around in the grass, the sun in my eyes, not having to worry that at 6pm, i would need a shawl or jacket (thank God we didn't end up spending 175$ on a shawl!) cause I didn't' need one anyway. Hope scott got some good shots.

Still kicking myself for not bringing my camera.
but I can't worry about that now, or let it drag the rest of these fond memories down.

Note to self: how often do you say after a concert: Oh i was so pissed off and disappointed they didn't play this song!? and let that leave a bad taste in my mouth? Can't do that now.
Must remember that out of 70+ people, at least 50 were taking photos that day. At the church, ti sounded like a press conference!!

Ooof. I am pooped.
must sleep, and hopefully to return refreshed with more happy fragments 2mrw.

Monday, June 08, 2009

from this day forward...

Everything was simply perfect -

the dress, the makeup, the hair
the maid of honor and bridesmaids
my mom and all her wonderful glowing aura rays
the limo
the flowers
the church
the organ music
the huge group of people who came
the food
the decoration
the music
the dancing
and the weather - oh the weather was just so perfect

and the man, the moment and the day

that is what dreams are made of
and my husband and i now being a new life together
from this day forward.

everything was just so perfect, beyond my wildest dreams