Thursday, July 27, 2006

crampy fingers are better at typing than writing, but not for very long...

wow.
What a whirlwind of activity.
I have no clue where to begin!!!

I guess I'll start with the best - I am going to have my very first SOLO EXHIBITION in April (I was asked if I wanted to have it sooner) at a place in New York City called Madame X. It's a swanky lounge/gallery in Chelsea and that is just the biggest peacock feather in my cap.
I'm fucken elated.

Got 3 of my photos in a juried exhibition in Arizona. Was supposed to go down but with the Madame X thing calling for money - prints and frames, I figured that Arizona would be too hot now anyway, and I wanted to take the road trip with my mom in October - so we could pass by there then.

Shot some films for my friend Ren - we worked on that 2880 film marathon 3 years ago. He's just the coolest. Monday was the end of his short (which is waiting to be edited) and yesterday was some sort of video clip that will be used in some Heineken promo video for the new James Bond film. I am keeping my fingers crossed that the images worked.

Spent the day with my mom - went to Ikea. We must have walked two miles - round and round. It was so nice to hang with her. She bought me a desk and some bookshelves along with all the other goodies she brought. I feel that the time we spend together is not enough to make up for lost time. I see how she is taking care of her mother, and it moves me so much as to how strong she is. I don't ever think I can rise to the occasion like she can, but then again, she is living proof that chemo nor cancer will keep a good woman down.

We are slated to go wig shopping 2mrw.


It's so hot, and damp, I'm melting away.

but soon to come back and transcribe my written notes before I end up losing those just like I have lost so many things latley.

My mom and I - 'chemo brains"....

Saturday, July 08, 2006

And no, I don't know what I'm doing...

Astro advice from the pro:


Saturday, 8th July 2006

ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 20)
Your week ahead: Do you know what you are doing? Does anyone? We all have hidden agendas. We all kid ourselves about our true motives. We all act unconsciously from time to time. Those who feel sure that they DO know what they are doing are the greatest self-deceivers. Those with enough humility to acknowledge that they don't know, have the best chance of actually finding out. Maybe you don't know what you are doing now - but that's good. Better yet, you know what you are NOT doing. Pluto’s harmonious alignment to Mars is enhancing your discrimination; you are thus very safe and very deserving of success.


Hmm, lets see.
I have 10000+ things on my plate - shooting my friend Ren's film next week (I have not even seen the story board)
- have 300+ photos to pshop for my friend Pete who just got engaged (they want me for the wedding in November)
- I hate my new camera - it's giving me attitude - focus is soft, metering off. I am debating whether the investment was worth it or should I have just suck with repairing my already wonderful little workhorse?
- I have so many deadlines for contests and reviews that they all seem to be slipping away so fast.
- i am overweight, and bloated, have found new deep furrows in my frown lines on my forehead
- have been hiding from everybody - no return phonecalls or emails. Just hiding in my little house, afraid of the damaging rays of the sun, worried that my moles will someday turn into skinflaps of cancer cells
- I feel like i am slowly losing direction in my life, and realize that time is slipping by so quickly.

That's not to mention that mom's hair is falling out and that we have to go wig shopping next week.

Fuck.
She's being so stoic and a true blue trooper.
Here I am, cowering behind my computer, thinking my life is gonna crasha and burn while my mother deals with the side effects of having raidoactive liqud poison pumped into her veins.

I dreamt of my great grandmother the other night. She looked good.

The old country saying - "when you dream of dead people it's because they want your prayers"

I wonder if that is their way of doing "the pop in" just to let you know that they are thinking of you?

Hi Babka, and Bob and Starachek...

Monday, July 03, 2006

black and blue


black and blue
Originally uploaded by Fack to Bront.
I saw this on flickr, and it just moved me so deeply, I had to post it.
It makes me realize how my 'problems' are quite trivial when compared to people out in the real cruel world...



Frack to Bront - bravo on this posting.

Your photo tells a story that is all too common and that very few people want to hear, and so often, turn a blind eye as to the reality of domestic abuse.

and of course - the biggest bravo going to this woman.

Her beauty is strong and radiant, despite the bruises on her face. It is the look of determination, strength, courage. It's in her eyes, and in the subtle curve of her smile.

If I were in her situation, I think the last thing I would be able to is smile.

This photo depicts the kind of humanity that only a sensitive photographer can capture/share.

God bless this poor woman and her child
and God bless you for sharing this with us.