Buddhist Shmoodist or slavery to a pattern

This kills me...
It just keeps on getting better/worse.

Why do i even bother?
At this point, I don't even know. Perhaps it's a distraction in the light of the diagnosis of mom's scan this friday. Or perhaps it's the hopeless romantic in me who thinks that one day he will wake up and see that he has a daughter who is still willing to unconditionally welcome him into her broken heart no matter how many times he trampled and ripped it apart.

but this is getting closer to the final straw.

His post on fb:

Great debate I was in at my Tibet/Buddhism course here in Mt.Tremblant yesterday. Had a great workout this morning at the gym and now heading into St.Jovite for afternoon of Billard training from a pro in preparations on our every Monday nights league. No time for retirement!!!!!! Mimi working as usual with the Swine H1N1 vaccinations...

My reply/post

I had studied Tibetan Buddhism when i did my religion minor in University d must say that is a fascinating religion of pure, yet difficult doctrines for the lay man to follow. Practice is a long journey which requires much study and discipline. I'm very surprised that you are taking a course. Good for you! Perhaps of benefit to you (and to those that were once close to you) would be a careful examination and practice of the Six Paramitas as this is the path of the Bodhisattva—one who is dedicated to serving the highest welfare of all living beings with the awakened heart of unconditional love, skillful wisdom, and all-embracing compassion, but following this path takes patience, which is in itself is the heart of the Buddhist path which requires courage, patience, flexibility and intelligence. Good luck and namaste.

and when I went to check the next day if he had commented on it - he had deleted it.


Fucken deleted it.


I knew that it might rattle his cage and wanted this to be a litmus test of his continuing hostility towards me, all the while putting up this front that he is on the path to enlightment.

and he calls a treadmill a "threadmill".

Oh you have no clue how tempted I am to write:
"it's a TREADMILL not a Threadmill you douchebag"

but I am sitting on my hands to keep from typing it, for now...


but in the meantime, i might just post this in my status.

Just for kicks...






I stopped loving my father a long time ago. What remained was the slavery to a pattern.
Anais Nin 

nyak, nyak nyak nyak...

I'm feeling quite pissy with a twist of pms-y so it could get ugly at any point today: i can be a total he-bitch and roll up my sleeves and have a good old fashioned stand off with anybody who crosses my path.

Funny, i completely forgot to gloat about my burst of ball busting attitude that seemed to come out of nowhere a few weeks ago when that trash can of a bimbo blonde twig catapulted her Tim Hortons full cup of coffee on the back bumper of E's car. What the hell was she doing walking TOWARDS a car that was OBVIOUSLY BACKING UP!?!?

after I heard the thud, i rolled down the window as she walked by and out of my mouth came: "and what's your problem bitch?!"

I could hear E's chin hit the steering wheel after i said this.

"What the fuck? You were backing up into me?"

"Well, you are not supposed to walk INTO cars that are BACKING UP! Open your eyes woman!"

That really came out of nowhere - this wind of salty gumption, but shit, it felt awesome.

And as we pulled away, she hobbled on her 10 story stilettos into the loblaws, waving at us sarcastically. I smiled and gave her the finger.

bimbo

It's good to dust off the shoe treads of people who trample on my head every now and then.

Farðu rökfræði

Farðu rökfræði