and to top things off from last night's post, I got a call today from my psychiatrist - he's leaving the province - going out west leaving me in the lurch - again.
I've been through 4 so far - one went on maternity leave, the other retired, the other just gave up on me, and the one before this went to another hospital.
now # 5.
Changing doctors is a big hassle - having to go over years of past history of medications and symptoms, their learning curve to how I respond to medications, and with my complicated life story and chemical sensitivity, it's a huge case load from one patient.
not to mention that if we don't see eye to eye about my next leg of treatment - that means grief for both of us because I know what I need, what I can't and can take. I am my own best advocate for better mental health. Having read up on almost all the medications out there, and having taken 95% of them already, who better to say what works and what doesn't?
but it's also the whole "investing time and effort, personal self exposure/vulnerabilities" once too many times, and to have to do it all over again - it's taxing on the mind and body.
Like I needed this to happen now...
don't feel like tempting fate by asking what's next, but it's in the back of my mind.
How hard it is to hope that tomorrow will be a better day when today and yesterday began to flood my hopes that things can actually get worse before they get better when they've gone past the worst case scenario...
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