It seems like so much is happening to me at once - both the good and not so good, but I am trying to take it all in stride -live one day at a time, be mindful of myself and the world around me. This is the summer that has changed my life in so many ways...
When I took this photo, I had been inspired by the shots at dusk that I had shot for the indie film about two weeks ago. Everything seemed so still under the setting sun, everything bathed in a beautiful warm light. The sky, closing it’s eyes, getting ready for sleep.
I have some stunning shots of these moments and will post them soon.
When I look at this photo, I don’t think of it as a sunset, I think of it as a new day stretching it’s wings, announcing - `I will be back tomorrow`!! This is how I now see my path unfold in front of me...
I am working at the club this weekend - Thursday and Sunday - and last weekend was a blast (will post more photos of those crazy events soon). I am going to have a little solo exposition in an upscale ice cream-sorbet shop near my place. I am finishing my CBT the day after tommorow and I bought a notebook to record all my progress. I could not believe the timing. It was right there, in front of me, as if to say: buy me!
On the beautiful seafoam green cover it said in embossed writing:
I am still learning...
Michelangelo
I am still learning, and this is the begining of another lesson and journey.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Saturday, August 27, 2005
And just because life sometimes gives you little signs, and sometimes it hits you in the head like a baseball bat...
I had to post this.
The timing once again, is too crazy.
I am a happy laughing camper.
It's sunny and warm outside - and I am sunny and warm inside.
Have a wonderful weekend :-D
Aries weekly forecast from August 25th
Your Weekend: We are surrounded by technological marvels that were all but undreamed of a few decades ago. We face a future so radically different from our past as to be beyond comprehension. No wonder so many of us feel insecure. No wonder, too, that we cling to so many traditions. Incredible things are possible in your life. But only one, truly incredible thing is worth aiming for. Don't be afraid of your future, embrace it. And you'll soon start feeling grateful, for everything that's happening in your world. It's going to be a surprisingly good weekend.
The timing once again, is too crazy.
I am a happy laughing camper.
It's sunny and warm outside - and I am sunny and warm inside.
Have a wonderful weekend :-D
Aries weekly forecast from August 25th
Your Weekend: We are surrounded by technological marvels that were all but undreamed of a few decades ago. We face a future so radically different from our past as to be beyond comprehension. No wonder so many of us feel insecure. No wonder, too, that we cling to so many traditions. Incredible things are possible in your life. But only one, truly incredible thing is worth aiming for. Don't be afraid of your future, embrace it. And you'll soon start feeling grateful, for everything that's happening in your world. It's going to be a surprisingly good weekend.
In a taxi on my way home, I met with a wise man...
You know, even if I tried to make my life less complex, I don`t think it would be at all possible. My life is a Sienfeld episode - period. It goes from varying degrees of Kramer-ness, Elaineisims, Jerry-itis and George-a-tosis, but there are just some days that I have to shake my head, throw my hands up in the air and say `What the F*%k was that all about?`.
Tonight was one of those nights, and it was freakywildamazingcrazyeyeopeninglifechanging moments that I thank God I am alive and open minded enough to experience such a blessing.
I would have to spend the next two hours decompressing from the wealth of information that is now packed into my folds of grey matter, and because I am going only on fumes now (Had another AMAZING night at the club tonight - it`s almost 4am and I am bagged dead tired) but this is something I have to write down becasue I know that as soon as I lay my head on the pillow, it will evaporate like unattended pot of boiling water on a stove.
So - where to begin...
I will talk about this cab driver. The moments and the insanity-crazy-wonderful energy that permeated the club tonight will be possible to recount via the almost 320 photos that I took tonight.
yep - 320.
But about the cab driver...
Sometimes, when you really want something, but least expect that its gonna happen during your lifetime, it does. Just like that. Poof!! It`s there, staring you in the face, grinning like aCheshire cat saying I told you so. You asked, and here I am!!
I was not a firm believer of that - power of positive thinking school of thought. If the power of + thinking were that successful, everybody I know would be in a better place financially, physcialluy and emotionally than they are at now.
HOGWASH!!
I said...
Past tense
Over the past month, I have been in a funky kind of therapy called Cognitive behavioral therapy. And let me tell you, it kicks some serious pessimistic ass! The premise is simple - change your thoughts, change your mood = change your life. It sounds ridiculously simple, but it works. I am in the process of being living proof.
Not too long ago, I read a book by Wayne Dyer called the power of intention which basically says - if you believe in what you want, you can make it happen and make it your reality...
there`s no place like home, there`s no place like home.
And sometimes, it`s as easy as clicking the heels of your ruby slippers together a few times
the magic of believing...
I have tried so hard and am still in the process of changing my thinking patters (I have toyed with the idea of writing another blog called - My See Bee tea (a punny phonetic play on words) but i think if I had one more blog or thing to do, I would not have any time to breathe, so I will dump bits and peices of my personal discoveries here...
CBT = change your negative self defeating thought processes. Dispute them, contest them, put them through the ringer - imagine asking yourself the question - what is the worst thing that can happen. Nine times out of ten, you won`t die or lose your limb if the worst case scenario takes place. We just think it will happen that way.
So I have been trying to make myself believe in my abilities as a writer, a photographer, and someone who is actually quite multi-talented and to stop putting up my own roadblocks to success.
Why do I fear success?
I am afraid of failure.
I think we all are to some degree.
Well, this taxi driver tonight just put the whole thing into perspective.
Complete perspective.
I was at the club and it was just amazing how people were responsive to me - hugging me after they saw the result of a great photo I snapped of them, people coming up to me, asking me if I could take their photos as they danced and posed while whooping it up. It was like I was a 10000 watt bulb and I was in the middle of a moth Woodstock weekend. I guess I was glowing, being really happy at what I was doing, and the chain reaction perpetuated another action and so on. I almost did`tn want to leave cause I was having such a blast.
I spoke with the owner - who is IN LOVE with my photos (he can`t tell me enough times a day how much he freaks over them) and tonight said that he told his girlfriend - I found the photographer for the wedding, even though it`s three years away, I know I have to book her now...
I just stood there, stunned with a stupid exhausted grin on my face.
Wow
I went outside and ran into one of the security guards who had a good time chatting with me the night before as she had to do a routine check of my bag. so you are a photographer? Do you do headshots for actors? I am in need of new ones...
And before I left the house today (forgot about that one), I got a call from the organizer of the nude and erotic art festival I was a part of in April and he wanted to know if he could use one of my images for the poster of his next event - a bodypainting competition.
I was stunned.
All in one day - because I put myself out there and believed in my work and how important it is for me to share it with others.
Wow
So the taxi ride home -
This guy - Edwin, was brilliant. Turns out he did his masters and was working on a PHD in philosophy (hello - hats off to anybody who can wrap their head around that stuff!) and could not find a job so he is doing some taxi driving to pay the bills. In brief - these are some of the things he said - There is a difference between thinking , living and believing - we only live one of the two, rarely all three, but the most important is the belief that we can live what we think and believe we could be.
Imagination is God`s workshop.
When you have negative thoughts in your life, during the day, these thoughts are like blood clots in your system. Your heart is the seat of your soul - like a sprinkler nourishing the other parts of your body. When the clot stops your energy from flowing to your heart, the whole system breaks down, the sprinkler stops and everything goes into a shutdown mode. Keep free from those negative thoughts - detach yourself from them, they are only thoughts, and you have control over what you make important in your life - these thoughts are fleeting only if you let them become fleeing. If you give them unnecessary weight and importance, they will become clots and shut down the whole system. You have the power of your mind to focus on what is important and what is real in the here and now.
If you believe, you can make it happen. You start thinking about negative things, of the things you don`t have - I don`t have a job, I don`t have any money, I don`t have this and that - well, if you believe that, you will have what you believe becasue you make that your current reality. If you focus on the good, on what you want, visualize it so that it`s palpable, continue to believe in it, you will get it because your center of need and desire is the power within yourself. Only you stop yourself from becoming what you really want to be. When we go against what other people`s and society`s definition of who we should be, we feel guilty, and guilt is a poison , it is the material of the blood clot. It is unhealthy. As long as you are true to yourself, and you know that what you want is not taking away from or causing harm to anybody else, then the obstacles are of your own making and can be removed by you alone.
There were other things he said - about goodness, detachment from anger and frustration, loving and letting go of hatred and expectations that were all so beautiful. I wish I had enough sense to take notes, but I was completely mesmerized and clung to his every word.
I was sitting in a taxi cab, on a Friday night, 3:30am with a Haitian Buddha
and it was truly a mystical experience.
Ah! You are a photographer! I would love to get some photos of myself, with a nice house, happy and content becasue I will put those in my apartment and look at them every day. That will remind me that all I want is within my reach. I will remind myself that the only thing that stands between me and what I desire is my own self-doubt and worry. If you believe it, you will have it.
If you build it, they will come.
Somehow, that line from Field of Dreams does not seem that far fetched anymore.
So as I close this, yet another lengthy diatribe monologue to myself, or perhaps to my fellow bloggers out there, or maybe even somebody who happened to stumble onto my site here, do yourself a favor. Write down your intention. Take a photo of yourself happy and where you really want to be. Print it out, post it on your wall and look at it every day - say This is me and I have it already - it is within my reach and mine to keep. Now, I believe that something magical may just happen...
I might just take that photo of me before I hit the mattress , but then again, I want to look at least half rested and glowing when I imagine myself sharing my books, movies and photography with the world...
:-D
And as I do the final spell check on this document, I have to laugh out loud.
You know what word I am having the hardest time with - spelling it wrong all the time?
You guessed it
I think i should write it 100 times on a paper so I can memorize it...
Tonight was one of those nights, and it was freakywildamazingcrazyeyeopeninglifechanging moments that I thank God I am alive and open minded enough to experience such a blessing.
I would have to spend the next two hours decompressing from the wealth of information that is now packed into my folds of grey matter, and because I am going only on fumes now (Had another AMAZING night at the club tonight - it`s almost 4am and I am bagged dead tired) but this is something I have to write down becasue I know that as soon as I lay my head on the pillow, it will evaporate like unattended pot of boiling water on a stove.
So - where to begin...
I will talk about this cab driver. The moments and the insanity-crazy-wonderful energy that permeated the club tonight will be possible to recount via the almost 320 photos that I took tonight.
yep - 320.
But about the cab driver...
Sometimes, when you really want something, but least expect that its gonna happen during your lifetime, it does. Just like that. Poof!! It`s there, staring you in the face, grinning like aCheshire cat saying I told you so. You asked, and here I am!!
I was not a firm believer of that - power of positive thinking school of thought. If the power of + thinking were that successful, everybody I know would be in a better place financially, physcialluy and emotionally than they are at now.
HOGWASH!!
I said...
Past tense
Over the past month, I have been in a funky kind of therapy called Cognitive behavioral therapy. And let me tell you, it kicks some serious pessimistic ass! The premise is simple - change your thoughts, change your mood = change your life. It sounds ridiculously simple, but it works. I am in the process of being living proof.
Not too long ago, I read a book by Wayne Dyer called the power of intention which basically says - if you believe in what you want, you can make it happen and make it your reality...
there`s no place like home, there`s no place like home.
And sometimes, it`s as easy as clicking the heels of your ruby slippers together a few times
the magic of believing...
I have tried so hard and am still in the process of changing my thinking patters (I have toyed with the idea of writing another blog called - My See Bee tea (a punny phonetic play on words) but i think if I had one more blog or thing to do, I would not have any time to breathe, so I will dump bits and peices of my personal discoveries here...
CBT = change your negative self defeating thought processes. Dispute them, contest them, put them through the ringer - imagine asking yourself the question - what is the worst thing that can happen. Nine times out of ten, you won`t die or lose your limb if the worst case scenario takes place. We just think it will happen that way.
So I have been trying to make myself believe in my abilities as a writer, a photographer, and someone who is actually quite multi-talented and to stop putting up my own roadblocks to success.
Why do I fear success?
I am afraid of failure.
I think we all are to some degree.
Well, this taxi driver tonight just put the whole thing into perspective.
Complete perspective.
I was at the club and it was just amazing how people were responsive to me - hugging me after they saw the result of a great photo I snapped of them, people coming up to me, asking me if I could take their photos as they danced and posed while whooping it up. It was like I was a 10000 watt bulb and I was in the middle of a moth Woodstock weekend. I guess I was glowing, being really happy at what I was doing, and the chain reaction perpetuated another action and so on. I almost did`tn want to leave cause I was having such a blast.
I spoke with the owner - who is IN LOVE with my photos (he can`t tell me enough times a day how much he freaks over them) and tonight said that he told his girlfriend - I found the photographer for the wedding, even though it`s three years away, I know I have to book her now...
I just stood there, stunned with a stupid exhausted grin on my face.
Wow
I went outside and ran into one of the security guards who had a good time chatting with me the night before as she had to do a routine check of my bag. so you are a photographer? Do you do headshots for actors? I am in need of new ones...
And before I left the house today (forgot about that one), I got a call from the organizer of the nude and erotic art festival I was a part of in April and he wanted to know if he could use one of my images for the poster of his next event - a bodypainting competition.
I was stunned.
All in one day - because I put myself out there and believed in my work and how important it is for me to share it with others.
Wow
So the taxi ride home -
This guy - Edwin, was brilliant. Turns out he did his masters and was working on a PHD in philosophy (hello - hats off to anybody who can wrap their head around that stuff!) and could not find a job so he is doing some taxi driving to pay the bills. In brief - these are some of the things he said - There is a difference between thinking , living and believing - we only live one of the two, rarely all three, but the most important is the belief that we can live what we think and believe we could be.
Imagination is God`s workshop.
When you have negative thoughts in your life, during the day, these thoughts are like blood clots in your system. Your heart is the seat of your soul - like a sprinkler nourishing the other parts of your body. When the clot stops your energy from flowing to your heart, the whole system breaks down, the sprinkler stops and everything goes into a shutdown mode. Keep free from those negative thoughts - detach yourself from them, they are only thoughts, and you have control over what you make important in your life - these thoughts are fleeting only if you let them become fleeing. If you give them unnecessary weight and importance, they will become clots and shut down the whole system. You have the power of your mind to focus on what is important and what is real in the here and now.
If you believe, you can make it happen. You start thinking about negative things, of the things you don`t have - I don`t have a job, I don`t have any money, I don`t have this and that - well, if you believe that, you will have what you believe becasue you make that your current reality. If you focus on the good, on what you want, visualize it so that it`s palpable, continue to believe in it, you will get it because your center of need and desire is the power within yourself. Only you stop yourself from becoming what you really want to be. When we go against what other people`s and society`s definition of who we should be, we feel guilty, and guilt is a poison , it is the material of the blood clot. It is unhealthy. As long as you are true to yourself, and you know that what you want is not taking away from or causing harm to anybody else, then the obstacles are of your own making and can be removed by you alone.
There were other things he said - about goodness, detachment from anger and frustration, loving and letting go of hatred and expectations that were all so beautiful. I wish I had enough sense to take notes, but I was completely mesmerized and clung to his every word.
I was sitting in a taxi cab, on a Friday night, 3:30am with a Haitian Buddha
and it was truly a mystical experience.
Ah! You are a photographer! I would love to get some photos of myself, with a nice house, happy and content becasue I will put those in my apartment and look at them every day. That will remind me that all I want is within my reach. I will remind myself that the only thing that stands between me and what I desire is my own self-doubt and worry. If you believe it, you will have it.
If you build it, they will come.
Somehow, that line from Field of Dreams does not seem that far fetched anymore.
So as I close this, yet another lengthy diatribe monologue to myself, or perhaps to my fellow bloggers out there, or maybe even somebody who happened to stumble onto my site here, do yourself a favor. Write down your intention. Take a photo of yourself happy and where you really want to be. Print it out, post it on your wall and look at it every day - say This is me and I have it already - it is within my reach and mine to keep. Now, I believe that something magical may just happen...
I might just take that photo of me before I hit the mattress , but then again, I want to look at least half rested and glowing when I imagine myself sharing my books, movies and photography with the world...
:-D
And as I do the final spell check on this document, I have to laugh out loud.
You know what word I am having the hardest time with - spelling it wrong all the time?
You guessed it
believe
I think i should write it 100 times on a paper so I can memorize it...
Friday, August 26, 2005
Zippy
I remember years ago, a good friend of mine - Barnes, called me Zippy because I was always running around, never in one place. He was so funny - in his deep Lou Gossett Jr. voice, drawing an imaginary line across his chest - "zippy..."
And that name so fits me so well lately.
I can't believe I am awake at this ungodly hour. It's 8:20 and I have had only about 2 hours of sleep. The sun comes up and no matter what time I went to bed, a bright early morning has me out of bed and running around - being zippy again.
but i will need my sleep as I am doing another late night again tonight...
So in a gazillion words or less - things are WILD CRAZY!!
- found out that the show - Sex and La Cité, will be playing 3 nights in this festival. One of those nights will be at the Just for Laughs Comedy museum. Capacity 250. WOW! And then two nights at the famous Chez Mado. We are all freaking and pumped. It's going to be a big venue and we are hoping to fill it...
fingers crossed
- I just did some cinematography for a friend's film over the weekend. It was a trailer for his upcoming feature. I got the position by fluke. I had originally met him for the position of director, but he found somebody else who had their own cinematographer. But then about 3 weeks ago, he called me and said that the director's guy had another film to shoot, so the position was open and he had raved about me to the director. Next thing I know, I am looking at the script, meeting with everybody and then spending last weekend shooting the thing! It was a wonderful experience (and I hate to toot my own horn, but the footage was KICK ASS!!) and when the money comes in to shoot the feature, it's gonna be mine to shoot!! No money, but hell! What an experience!!
- I got a last minute call from that club I worked for - 1234. Last minute last Friday night. I was to work on the film Saturday morning - and be on set by 7:30am...
I know it's last minute, but would you be able to come in and shoot something tonight!? The photographer for the fashion show backed out and we are left without anybody to document this... I would really appreciate it but understand if you can't make it... Well, needless to say, I jumped on the chance and went (I was a wreck the next morning, but was okay after my 20th coffee).
Well, wouldn't you know, I got a call last night from the same people from the club asking : I know it's last minute again, but we are going to need you tonight, and tomorrow night. And we would like to book you in advance for the 1st and the 4th of September, and then again on the 4th and 30th of October...
I almost swallowed the receiver my mouth had opened so wide! The catch was that at my usual going rate, twice a month, every month for the next 4 months was a lot of money - but he said:We have been approached by other people who want to take the photos, but frankly, I love your photos so much, you are my star photographer of choice. So can we talk price?
I settled on a half decent deal and both parties were happy.
BUT
there is always a but isn't there...
I got to the club (and thank God I followed my instinct to take my other flash) and I start to take some photos, and realize that my in - camera flash has died!! I almost lost it, but some internal switch overrode the panic button in my head and I just made do with a slow, but functional external flash. It was hysterical - I don't know if it was just the night, the moon, or the alcohol, but everybody was just dying to have their photo taken (which made my job a helluva lot easier!)!! So that was all good.
it's all good.
And I am one happy and exhausted camper now.
And I am going to be going to New York for the first time in my life in October!! A group of people from Flickr have managed to get a group exposition off the ground and I am taking part in it as well as being part of the 'artist speaker' series which will be open to the public as well as the expo which will be in a gallery in Harlem. I am quietly flipping with large bags under my eyes and a huge grin on my face.
Speaking of bags...
I should get a token amount of sleep again before I officially start my day. I was hoping that typing a marathon blog would get me sleepy, instead it's just gotten me hungry.
Time to have a bowl of Lucky Charms - They're magically delicious!!
And that name so fits me so well lately.
I can't believe I am awake at this ungodly hour. It's 8:20 and I have had only about 2 hours of sleep. The sun comes up and no matter what time I went to bed, a bright early morning has me out of bed and running around - being zippy again.
but i will need my sleep as I am doing another late night again tonight...
So in a gazillion words or less - things are WILD CRAZY!!
- found out that the show - Sex and La Cité, will be playing 3 nights in this festival. One of those nights will be at the Just for Laughs Comedy museum. Capacity 250. WOW! And then two nights at the famous Chez Mado. We are all freaking and pumped. It's going to be a big venue and we are hoping to fill it...
fingers crossed
- I just did some cinematography for a friend's film over the weekend. It was a trailer for his upcoming feature. I got the position by fluke. I had originally met him for the position of director, but he found somebody else who had their own cinematographer. But then about 3 weeks ago, he called me and said that the director's guy had another film to shoot, so the position was open and he had raved about me to the director. Next thing I know, I am looking at the script, meeting with everybody and then spending last weekend shooting the thing! It was a wonderful experience (and I hate to toot my own horn, but the footage was KICK ASS!!) and when the money comes in to shoot the feature, it's gonna be mine to shoot!! No money, but hell! What an experience!!
- I got a last minute call from that club I worked for - 1234. Last minute last Friday night. I was to work on the film Saturday morning - and be on set by 7:30am...
I know it's last minute, but would you be able to come in and shoot something tonight!? The photographer for the fashion show backed out and we are left without anybody to document this... I would really appreciate it but understand if you can't make it... Well, needless to say, I jumped on the chance and went (I was a wreck the next morning, but was okay after my 20th coffee).
Well, wouldn't you know, I got a call last night from the same people from the club asking : I know it's last minute again, but we are going to need you tonight, and tomorrow night. And we would like to book you in advance for the 1st and the 4th of September, and then again on the 4th and 30th of October...
I almost swallowed the receiver my mouth had opened so wide! The catch was that at my usual going rate, twice a month, every month for the next 4 months was a lot of money - but he said:We have been approached by other people who want to take the photos, but frankly, I love your photos so much, you are my star photographer of choice. So can we talk price?
I settled on a half decent deal and both parties were happy.
BUT
there is always a but isn't there...
I got to the club (and thank God I followed my instinct to take my other flash) and I start to take some photos, and realize that my in - camera flash has died!! I almost lost it, but some internal switch overrode the panic button in my head and I just made do with a slow, but functional external flash. It was hysterical - I don't know if it was just the night, the moon, or the alcohol, but everybody was just dying to have their photo taken (which made my job a helluva lot easier!)!! So that was all good.
it's all good.
And I am one happy and exhausted camper now.
And I am going to be going to New York for the first time in my life in October!! A group of people from Flickr have managed to get a group exposition off the ground and I am taking part in it as well as being part of the 'artist speaker' series which will be open to the public as well as the expo which will be in a gallery in Harlem. I am quietly flipping with large bags under my eyes and a huge grin on my face.
Speaking of bags...
I should get a token amount of sleep again before I officially start my day. I was hoping that typing a marathon blog would get me sleepy, instead it's just gotten me hungry.
Time to have a bowl of Lucky Charms - They're magically delicious!!
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Another encore!??!?!
So it seems like the Sex and La Cité buzz just won't quit!!
We are scheduled to have three more shows - that's right, three more shows!! And that is only in September!!! We might have another repeat in October, around Halloween. A party that would rival the Rocky Horror Picture show, with contests a la Sex and the City (Who has the best shoes, who can do the best Carrie Bradshaw squeal, who can do the best Big saying "absofuckenutley", a drag queen contest and dress up as your favourite character). Audience participation would be the key, but that is still on the back burner for now. And there might be another possibility to play in a real theater - the Centaur in January. Big time shit. but we shall see...
So me?
Little old me?
Running on worn out shock absorbers and my tire treads are wearing thin,
but
I am doing cinematography for a trailer for an independant feature film this weekend. Basically, if things go well, then I get to do the whole feature, but that is being way ahead of myself. But it is Saturday and Sunday, pretty easy shots, but lots of people in a tiny space. I know the guy, super cool, and he is managing to get almost all the equipment for free (whereas 'normal' people would have to pay aroud $2000 for the weekend...) and lots of other important people backing him. I am a little nervous, I have to admit, but it's not like there is a $40,000 budget and producers hanging over my head!! Thank God I aced that one! Now I can look back and remind myself of this when I go into smaller shoots cause nothing will compare to that one (well, until I get a bigger one, but who knows when that will be!!)!
So I am off to study the camera - Canon XL1
...
Don't buy it.
It's a total peice of crap! (bit that's just my personal opinion...)
If you want to sink $4000 into a dv cam, go Panasonic, at least most of the body is made out of industrial plastic, not like this one. When I use it, I feel like I am playing with an oversized Barbie Video camera!! (btw - has anybody seen the "my first mobil phone" for kids!?!??! What the hell!? - "mommy, I am in my room and I have to go poo now..." And what's up with this and this!?!?
lol
We are scheduled to have three more shows - that's right, three more shows!! And that is only in September!!! We might have another repeat in October, around Halloween. A party that would rival the Rocky Horror Picture show, with contests a la Sex and the City (Who has the best shoes, who can do the best Carrie Bradshaw squeal, who can do the best Big saying "absofuckenutley", a drag queen contest and dress up as your favourite character). Audience participation would be the key, but that is still on the back burner for now. And there might be another possibility to play in a real theater - the Centaur in January. Big time shit. but we shall see...
So me?
Little old me?
Running on worn out shock absorbers and my tire treads are wearing thin,
but
I am doing cinematography for a trailer for an independant feature film this weekend. Basically, if things go well, then I get to do the whole feature, but that is being way ahead of myself. But it is Saturday and Sunday, pretty easy shots, but lots of people in a tiny space. I know the guy, super cool, and he is managing to get almost all the equipment for free (whereas 'normal' people would have to pay aroud $2000 for the weekend...) and lots of other important people backing him. I am a little nervous, I have to admit, but it's not like there is a $40,000 budget and producers hanging over my head!! Thank God I aced that one! Now I can look back and remind myself of this when I go into smaller shoots cause nothing will compare to that one (well, until I get a bigger one, but who knows when that will be!!)!
So I am off to study the camera - Canon XL1
...
Don't buy it.
It's a total peice of crap! (bit that's just my personal opinion...)
If you want to sink $4000 into a dv cam, go Panasonic, at least most of the body is made out of industrial plastic, not like this one. When I use it, I feel like I am playing with an oversized Barbie Video camera!! (btw - has anybody seen the "my first mobil phone" for kids!?!??! What the hell!? - "mommy, I am in my room and I have to go poo now..." And what's up with this and this!?!?
lol
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Little Fanny - In memory of Hiroshima
I came across this tombstone and took this photo in the older part of the Mount Royal Cemetary - where rich families were burried. Apparently, during the turn of the century, there was a polio epidemic here, and many children died before the age of 5. There were so many of these 'simple graves' everywhere, but this one was the most disturbing...
I dedicate this photo to all who lost their lives during the bombing of Hiroshima, especially all those children who did not have a chance to grow up.
I dedicate this photo to all who lost their lives during the bombing of Hiroshima, especially all those children who did not have a chance to grow up.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Reaching out for a little bit of flickr loving...
You know, sometimes the internet is a wonderful place to be, to meet people, to exchange ideas, to reach out into the world. Sure there are bad ways and good ways of doing it, but I must admit, being able to reach out to people, knowing that my work is changing their lives is something more than money could ever buy. It makes me feel like I have purpose, like my art and the sharing of my art with the world makes a difference...
Here are some of the quotes/testimonials people have written for me...
"Kitty is a true chameleon. I love her images and always look forward to what new places she'll take us.Whether it be backstage, in the club, or in the bedroom.Her images strike the spark that starts the raging bonfire of beauty, art, love and desire.Her confidence and power shine through and inspire."
inkycat
"Kitty is the kind of person that brings a smile to your face by only thinking about her.I find in Kitty a splendid example of a 'full' person: intelligent, daring - yet at same time sensitive and listening. She has the gift of superb sense of humor and no less than that and very rare to find - beautiful self awareness of a whole person up to the finest intimate erotic shades.Put them all together and you'll find Kitty, a person I consider myself lucky to have met in this flickr world."
Baracute
"hpk is one amazing woman that is a true delight..from the very sensual to music images..in between all this is a rare talent and joy..." alfarman
shadowbox says:"Sensual, sassy, chic and seething with moxie...much like that favorite city of mine from which she hails. Oh and she takes pretty pictures, too."
viewfinder says:"for me, this is a place to say "wow." i never intend to say it, but kitty draws it from me every time I'm here, as easily as she might drape an arm around my shoulders, look into my eyes, kiss my cheek.you see, kitty's pics come with a touch -- like the caress, the look, the kiss -- also the slap, the embrace, the thrust... they breathe, and sigh, and moan, and live.we shooters all approach the geometry of our art differently, that personal vector that somehow describes a line from our eye to the world and back again... some of us hide therein and some of us with it reveal some truth, some axiomatic essence of self. kitty is very much the latter of the two, for which I appreciate and admire her very much."
Klugarsh says:"Understands & achieves the ART of photography, to which most of us seem unaware, indifferent, or impotent.& Canadian to boot."
drp says:"Raw.
Sincere.
Emotional.
Erotic.
Genuine.
Sexual.
Courageous.
These are not taboo words.
Nor are they negative traits.
They are real. Human.
HPK presents life as such. In all of its grit and glory. Some might be offended.
Oh well.
Your loss.
This is life, as art, as life.
I, for one, admire it.
And her.
Keep going, HPK."
I can't tell you how amazing it is to have people say that about me and my work. I have to re-read each of these things when I am feeling down and sad - doubting myself and my work, which I have been doing alot lately.
Perhaps too much, to the point of possibly being self destructive.
But to everything - turn, turn, turn.
God did not make everything in a day, and on the last day, he rested!!
Rest - seems like a foreign language tern to me lately...
I just got this from a new flickr friend - we were talking about the strange closeness of the internet community and how people meet...
I think that the web, and the communities on the web that are forming now, are a type of compression and expansion of the human experience, and that out of the sheer millions of people online at any point make running into a like spirit so out there, that it must be destiny.
Destiny? Perhaps.
I like to think that there is a bigger plan - that my photos and my writings are out there and touching people's lives for a reason.
My suffering was not in vain.
And my joys were for sharing...
One last closing comment from my sweet friend tracey - the dak
Indeed, your work is reaching out to an inspired mass often in awe of your talent; I'm flattered that you think my pictures are cool - thank you. :) I'd never really thought about that - the hope of making a difference in somebody's life with my work - it makes more sense the more i think about it, and if anything, it's an awesome emotional perk to a frustrating, tiring artist.
and yes it is tracey -
yes it is...
Here are some of the quotes/testimonials people have written for me...
"Kitty is a true chameleon. I love her images and always look forward to what new places she'll take us.Whether it be backstage, in the club, or in the bedroom.Her images strike the spark that starts the raging bonfire of beauty, art, love and desire.Her confidence and power shine through and inspire."
inkycat
"Kitty is the kind of person that brings a smile to your face by only thinking about her.I find in Kitty a splendid example of a 'full' person: intelligent, daring - yet at same time sensitive and listening. She has the gift of superb sense of humor and no less than that and very rare to find - beautiful self awareness of a whole person up to the finest intimate erotic shades.Put them all together and you'll find Kitty, a person I consider myself lucky to have met in this flickr world."
Baracute
"hpk is one amazing woman that is a true delight..from the very sensual to music images..in between all this is a rare talent and joy..." alfarman
shadowbox says:"Sensual, sassy, chic and seething with moxie...much like that favorite city of mine from which she hails. Oh and she takes pretty pictures, too."
viewfinder says:"for me, this is a place to say "wow." i never intend to say it, but kitty draws it from me every time I'm here, as easily as she might drape an arm around my shoulders, look into my eyes, kiss my cheek.you see, kitty's pics come with a touch -- like the caress, the look, the kiss -- also the slap, the embrace, the thrust... they breathe, and sigh, and moan, and live.we shooters all approach the geometry of our art differently, that personal vector that somehow describes a line from our eye to the world and back again... some of us hide therein and some of us with it reveal some truth, some axiomatic essence of self. kitty is very much the latter of the two, for which I appreciate and admire her very much."
Klugarsh says:"Understands & achieves the ART of photography, to which most of us seem unaware, indifferent, or impotent.& Canadian to boot."
drp says:"Raw.
Sincere.
Emotional.
Erotic.
Genuine.
Sexual.
Courageous.
These are not taboo words.
Nor are they negative traits.
They are real. Human.
HPK presents life as such. In all of its grit and glory. Some might be offended.
Oh well.
Your loss.
This is life, as art, as life.
I, for one, admire it.
And her.
Keep going, HPK."
I can't tell you how amazing it is to have people say that about me and my work. I have to re-read each of these things when I am feeling down and sad - doubting myself and my work, which I have been doing alot lately.
Perhaps too much, to the point of possibly being self destructive.
But to everything - turn, turn, turn.
God did not make everything in a day, and on the last day, he rested!!
Rest - seems like a foreign language tern to me lately...
I just got this from a new flickr friend - we were talking about the strange closeness of the internet community and how people meet...
I think that the web, and the communities on the web that are forming now, are a type of compression and expansion of the human experience, and that out of the sheer millions of people online at any point make running into a like spirit so out there, that it must be destiny.
Destiny? Perhaps.
I like to think that there is a bigger plan - that my photos and my writings are out there and touching people's lives for a reason.
My suffering was not in vain.
And my joys were for sharing...
One last closing comment from my sweet friend tracey - the dak
Indeed, your work is reaching out to an inspired mass often in awe of your talent; I'm flattered that you think my pictures are cool - thank you. :) I'd never really thought about that - the hope of making a difference in somebody's life with my work - it makes more sense the more i think about it, and if anything, it's an awesome emotional perk to a frustrating, tiring artist.
and yes it is tracey -
yes it is...
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