All is quiet here at home
spent a really nice xmas afternoon and evening with mom, E and my g.mother (who slept over the night before). We ate loads of brisket and dumplings and drank nice wine. It was so wonderful to be with my family. The night before we went to E's parents. That was nice too.
So day after xmas, after all the running around, another year has come and gone, and I'm still sick; but that's ok. I have a lot to be thankful for - so many memories, opportunities and friendships that have been created and/or flourished - I hope and pray that 2008 will be a little easier. Like my bella chiqua said: "2007 has been one of the worst years I can remember, for at least 10 years."
My memory says 20, but who's really counting?
So here is wishing you all a wonderful holiday season and may 2008 bring you all the most wonderful and peaceful moments in the world.
I think we all deserve a happy break don't you?
ox
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
twilight fades - toot toot
I rarely like to toot my own horn, but I've been in a sweeping literary mode this past hour, and what spilled out of a reply I posted to a flickr member who loved this photo so much surprised me.
so here it is...
aww, thanks so much B. I too love this shot. It's so unlike my usual style, but something about coming home that night - it was not an ending, just a beginning.
The twilight was a like a soft veil of sleep covering my city, my eyes, and a knowing that tomorrow will bring new possibilities, new adventures, and of course, the daylight...
so here it is...
aww, thanks so much B. I too love this shot. It's so unlike my usual style, but something about coming home that night - it was not an ending, just a beginning.
The twilight was a like a soft veil of sleep covering my city, my eyes, and a knowing that tomorrow will bring new possibilities, new adventures, and of course, the daylight...
Powerful beyond all measure...
This image, this quote.
I'm beside myself.
This is what I have been trying to figure out for so long - why I jeopardize myself, sabotage my potential for success - the answer to what I am really afraid of.
This makes so much sense.
So much sense at just the right time.
Thank you Seb - more than you will know.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others
(Timo Cruz)
I'm beside myself.
This is what I have been trying to figure out for so long - why I jeopardize myself, sabotage my potential for success - the answer to what I am really afraid of.
This makes so much sense.
So much sense at just the right time.
Thank you Seb - more than you will know.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others
(Timo Cruz)
Monday, December 17, 2007
inspiration on a cold winter afternoon
Got this from a friend. It was too beautiful not to share.
her little girl (only a year and a half) got horribly ill and was in the hospital with a stomach flu. I'm in awe with her ability to be so calm and so zen. Perhaps all that time in Nepal helped her through the chaos.
Speaking of which - the shoots went really well. I too am sick as a dog - all that adrenaline kept the flu away - now it's back full force, like the winter storm we just had. Alex is off to Brazil for two weeks. Hope he brings back some sunshine for me...
got back with her last night. she's lost 4 pounds. she's like a tiny angel in my arms. glazed eyes and a tired smile. but at least she smiles. and she can drink and hold down her liquid. still having awful fluorescent green diarrhea but she's on her way back.
it was a very buddhist experience to watch over her. one moment at a time. no future, no past, only now. the immediate need in this moment. minute after minute. days adding to days.
yesterday the montreal police came to sing carols and hand out presents to the sick kids. santa gave me a hug. i lost it in his arms. he stroked my hair so gently and brushed away my tears. sirianna gave a faint smile at the dog she got as a present. hope was restored anew.
slow cab ride home late last night. the whole city covered in protective snow. i left the little one with my husband and took the dogs to the park where we ran mad in the snow. then i lay still in a snowbank and let the whiteness cover me.
soon it's x-mas.
her little girl (only a year and a half) got horribly ill and was in the hospital with a stomach flu. I'm in awe with her ability to be so calm and so zen. Perhaps all that time in Nepal helped her through the chaos.
Speaking of which - the shoots went really well. I too am sick as a dog - all that adrenaline kept the flu away - now it's back full force, like the winter storm we just had. Alex is off to Brazil for two weeks. Hope he brings back some sunshine for me...
got back with her last night. she's lost 4 pounds. she's like a tiny angel in my arms. glazed eyes and a tired smile. but at least she smiles. and she can drink and hold down her liquid. still having awful fluorescent green diarrhea but she's on her way back.
it was a very buddhist experience to watch over her. one moment at a time. no future, no past, only now. the immediate need in this moment. minute after minute. days adding to days.
yesterday the montreal police came to sing carols and hand out presents to the sick kids. santa gave me a hug. i lost it in his arms. he stroked my hair so gently and brushed away my tears. sirianna gave a faint smile at the dog she got as a present. hope was restored anew.
slow cab ride home late last night. the whole city covered in protective snow. i left the little one with my husband and took the dogs to the park where we ran mad in the snow. then i lay still in a snowbank and let the whiteness cover me.
soon it's x-mas.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
WTF????!
WTF???
The shoot from hell - 12 hours of sheer hair pulling eyeball gouging hell.
This equipment I have is not worth the pile of shit it sits on.
Nothing but headaches - then because the wiring in the house is like 10000 years old, one 600K light and the whole fusebox shorts out. And the poor girl who modeled for alex, I was almost in tears for her. I tried to cry, but all that came out was battery acid. I'm past the point of being tired now, and am dreading a back to back shoot tomorrow. We were supposed to do two today, but all photographic hell broke loose, so we had to send one girl home.
I'm only doing this because it's alex, and I beleive in him more than I beleive in myself, and because after 22 years of knowing each other, he is my buddy and saving grace who popped back into my life not too long ago.
so now to bed - try to rest my burning eyes and esophagus, and see who comes in at 10am and where we go from there...
The shoot from hell - 12 hours of sheer hair pulling eyeball gouging hell.
This equipment I have is not worth the pile of shit it sits on.
Nothing but headaches - then because the wiring in the house is like 10000 years old, one 600K light and the whole fusebox shorts out. And the poor girl who modeled for alex, I was almost in tears for her. I tried to cry, but all that came out was battery acid. I'm past the point of being tired now, and am dreading a back to back shoot tomorrow. We were supposed to do two today, but all photographic hell broke loose, so we had to send one girl home.
I'm only doing this because it's alex, and I beleive in him more than I beleive in myself, and because after 22 years of knowing each other, he is my buddy and saving grace who popped back into my life not too long ago.
so now to bed - try to rest my burning eyes and esophagus, and see who comes in at 10am and where we go from there...
Thursday, December 13, 2007
off to paint
I just got up from a few hours of much needed sleep - unfortunately, I can't say the same for Alex who is going on no sleep because he's worked on prep all night for today's shoot. He wants to work all weekend - light kits, backdrop, props - the whole nine yards, but I feel a flu coming on, and that's not good. How can I compete with this man of steel?
So with some warm chicken soup in my belly, I will bundle up and head out into the dark cold and run off to paint - well, actually watch him paint. I'll take the photos.
I think my focus might be off.
Wish me luck.
So with some warm chicken soup in my belly, I will bundle up and head out into the dark cold and run off to paint - well, actually watch him paint. I'll take the photos.
I think my focus might be off.
Wish me luck.
Monday, December 10, 2007
twilight fades
I got back last night from New York, and in the fading twilight, I smiled, realizing that I have so much to be thankful for, and that this trip to the city which so lovingly continues to embrace my art was just one of the most amazing Christmas presents I ever could have asked for.
I didn't take as many photos of New York city as I usually would have, but the ones that I will post are worth more than a 1000 words, and many more in smiles and memories - so please stay tuned!
I will be taking some time off to rest over the holidays, but wish you and your loved ones the best of health, happiness and love during this holiday season, and may 2008 bring you peace and good tidings. 2007 was a hell of a year for many of us, may the next 365 be the calm after the storm.
I didn't take as many photos of New York city as I usually would have, but the ones that I will post are worth more than a 1000 words, and many more in smiles and memories - so please stay tuned!
I will be taking some time off to rest over the holidays, but wish you and your loved ones the best of health, happiness and love during this holiday season, and may 2008 bring you peace and good tidings. 2007 was a hell of a year for many of us, may the next 365 be the calm after the storm.
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