My cervix is falling! My cervix is falling!

Phew...
went to see the doc yesterday cause I thought I was getting some sort of nasty infection - or something. My hoho didn't feel right - felt as if it was going to fall out. Seriously. The most bizarre sensation that I have ever felt in my life. Funny thing my body, up to a week before the operation, I was blocked up solid. A few hours after? I'm running to the bowl non stop. And the final last push often had me wailing in pain. "This can't be happening! Not now!" I shouted to my mom as she sat perplexed and helpless in the next room.

"Oh my dear! Is there anything I can do?"

And really, there was nothing that she could have done.

I popped immodium like a kid eating candy on Halloween, which, normally should have blocked me up till next year, but alas, the surgical assault on my body put my inner plumbing into overdrive - dry heaving after the three needles to numb my stubborn cervix, kept on pumping out the sewage at record speed.

not fun.

but a few days later, the storm subsided and life seemed to return to normal, until Tuesday, and the chaos began again...

I began to bleed - really bad. A lot. More than usual. A cause for alarm. Felt weak, about as strong as a wet piece of paper. Dizzy and clumsy. Exhausted and foggy. Was I hemorrhaging? I couldn't tell for sure. Did all that pushing finally shake something loose inside? Was my cervix really falling this time? (I knew it wasn't but it sure felt like it...)

The pain became almost unbearable. That ripping, shredding sensation was surreal and I began to panic. Was this normal? So long after the procedure?


Called the office - the nurse said to come down right away. An infection at that site could be really tricky to deal with if it's progressed to the surrounding tissue. Just what I needed...

Got there - this place is always full. Makes me think of what a betting area of a race track would look like. A hodge podge of anxious faces, waiting to be seen as soon as possible. The wait, an obvious strain apparent in their vacant stares. Almost full term mothers about to pop, pre, perio and post meopausal women fighting off hot flashes in this overly chilly air conditioned room, and a handful of anxious your ladies coming in for their first gyno exam or pap. All wanting to be seen as soon as possible. Get this over and done with fast. As soon as possible. Time is ticking, and the suspense is killing me...

I mean, who looks forward to seeing their gynecologist!?
I know I don't...

An uppity high society woman sat next to me, tapping on her pristine copy of the latest issue of Vogue magazine. Huffing and puffing into the air.
"this is ridicilous! I'm going to get you into see another doctor!"

She strutted up to the window and leaned in, ready for a catty confrontation.

"Excuse me miss. My daughter and I have been waiting here for the past hour and a half. What is the holdup?"

a muffled voice from behind the glass replied.

"yes, but she has school and I have to get her back to class. I don't understand - people have been coming in and out, many who have just come in and are being seen before us. Why is this happening?"

mumble mumble, doctors, mumble mumble, best we can, mumble mumble, please mumble mumble, as soon as possible...

She was pissed.

Her shiny Gucci loafers stomped back to her spot in the chair next to me. Huffing and puffing like a locomotive at rush hour, she snapped: "this is absolutley ridiculous!", making sure everybody around her and on the upper floors heard.

You can imagine my surprise, and fear for my life when just 15 minutes after my arrival, and two minutes after her tirade, my name as called. I was sure that the back of my head was going to be her target for the hard spine of a flying magazine...

The nurse was sweet and concerned. I gave her the rundown. She told me that everything would be okay and that the doctor would be in to see me shortly. I shivered beneath the thin cotton gown, another draped over my legs for warmth.

On the monitor in the corner was a still shot of a previous exam. I'll spare you the details, but it was not the kind of information I needed to see about the previous patient...

what a horrible looking desktop image i said to myself. Couldn't laugh too loud. But what a funny thought. Was thinking of passing that by the doc, but wasn't too sure if he would have found it as funny as I did, so I decided to keep it to myself.

He came in and said hi, a young intern, stiff and freshly academic by his side.

How are you Miss K? What can we do for you today?

i gave him my shopping list of symptoms, and questions. He was kind and concerned, but assured me that there was no real cause for alarm. After some poking and prodding, examining and having a session of medical show and tell, he surmised:

"well, you just have your period. There are no abrasions or cuts from the site, just a little tenderness, which is to be expected. I'm going to give you some antibiotics just to be on the safe side"

So that was it. Nothing to be worried about. Phew!
I was still in pain, and bleeding like a river, but at least I was assured that the healing had begun.

I thanked him, he told me to make sure to come back for the 6 month follow up and then was on my way out.

Walked up to the nurse (who's name was exactly the same as mine, and she was really sweet) and told her what happened.

"I know the other secretary told me that if they get the results, and everything is normal, they won't call, but can you call me nonetheless? I'm going to be waiting on pins and needles for the next 4-6 weeks, I just want to be sure."

"Oh no problem at all! I'm happy that the exam showed nothing serious. Take care of yourself. Everything is going to be alright." she squeezed my hand and smiled. I'm sure that I'm not the first worried woman she had encountered today.

and as I turned around to go, out of the corner of my eye, I saw madame vogue and her now teary eyed teenage daughter, who almost 45 minutes ago saw me walk down the hall into the examining room, coming back out again, look at me with daggers in their eyes. My wobbly legs were way ahead of the rest of my body in trying to find the nearest exit to escape to!