Letter to a friend - today, in a state of feeling lost and sore.
I sometimes surprise myself with what comes out of these achy joints and wiry fingers...


Hello my dear,
i just wanted to touch base to see how you were doing? How is your health? From your posts I gather that all is not too well?

I'm in the same boat - lab rat too...

got the results from my last detailed invasive pap test last friday - high grade pre cancerous cells found on my cervix. Made me flip out, despite my doc saying that :"its not cancer, but we will have to monitor it because it might, one day become so.." Just what i needed to hear after my grandmother dying, my mom finishing her treatment and oh yea, planning a wedding!!

So much - so many things going on, so many emotions. I feel like i am trying to keep afloat but doing a shitty job in this little leaky boat. I see the shore, but am getting tired of bailing out the water that keeps rising near my ankles...

I constantly look to your amazing photos as inspiration - it's so nice to see that your paintings are moving you in a new direction, and photos are transforming themselves into new and mysterious beautiful mysteries. It's been ages since i picked up my camera. More than a year since I turned it onto myself. I guess I'm afraid of who i am, who I've become and where i am going. Oh how i wish I could turn that fear into excitement and curiosity!

so on that note, my work out from two days ago and a period that has been late for 2 months decided to all hit me with a mammoth baseball bat to every muscle in my body, i must rest, but please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.