this is what happens when you are drunk and have friends who are comedians with a video camera...

this is simply brilliant.

I can't stop laughing.

It's nothing short of evil and brilliant.
Even MORE brilliant than the think i quoted in the last post...

Funny or Die. Will Ferrell, you rock my world...

you truly are a gift...

Boob doc 2mrw. Time to check up on my well marbled porterhouse steak breast tissue.

Got the confirmation for my g-scope next monday (first one in - THANK GOD), just waiting on the surgery confirm.

Pain. Serious.
Had somebody in from out of town last night. Was quiet as a mouse. I had to breathe through the stabbing jolts. Spent more time breathing than talking.
I have a place where they are to visit. I just wish I could be well enough for the long flight down. Right now - 10 minutes is all I can take sitting down before i have to lie down again. A 10 hour flight would kill me...

Did lots of news for my website updates.
Wow.
Lots of shit going on!!
My CV looks pretty damn impressive. Almost 5 pages long. And that is just the photography stuff. There is also the writing and cinema CV's. It's a shame that I'm not making any money off this stuff. And it's definitely not for a lack of trying.

My luck as always...

And apparently, my cards were selected to be part of the ABAD show in Croatia! Could the Eastern European block countries be my next market? First Ukraine, now Croatia!? Very cool indeed.

Next show - Morrocco.
Was offered a place to say there for four nights c/o the organizers. What a dream that would be, but alas, $$, $$ $$. Rubbing two pennies together is tough, i can't even fathom 2000$...

but i can always dream right?

Had a phone call from Charlotte the other day.

It was so nice to talk to her. We reminisced about our Sex and La Cite days and said that we should do something again.

Writing with her came so naturally and talk about comedic chemistry!

It was so nice to be able to do something that made people laugh.

I need to laugh on days like these.

Sadness has begun to take its toll.

but Charlotte said something that made me smile, and made me feel so appreciated in a world and time where and when I don't feel so much so:

"Some people I know bitch about everything, and some people who are going through only half of what you are going through drone on endlessly about their miseries. You don't - you laugh. That in my book is quite amazing. You know hpk, you truly are a joy and a gift to all those people who have you in their lives. You always laugh, and that is just wonderful."

I was almost in tears. 

What a wonderful thing to say!

Amazing how a few little words could go so far in healing this wounded spirit and body...

I need to hear things like that these days.

Thank you Charlotte!!

my boat, my rules...

I almost fell off my chair when I saw this. 


I have been known to talk in my sleep as well, but this is too too funny!!

I have made it public that i'm following this couple's evening adventures.

my boat, my rules...

My breasts are like a well marbled porterhouse steak

my breasts (according to my ultrasound of them today) look like a well marbled porterhouse steak.

Unfortunately, those are not my melons, so I thank whoever put those up on the net for me to make this wonderful analogy.

While mom was going for her PET scan, i was seeing the breast specialist about the lump in my left armpit near my breast. He looked at the mammograms, other ultrasounds, and then decided it needed further investigation. Two hours later, at the other side of town, i saw him again, this time, radio waves would bounce off them to send home pretty pictures.

He explained the whole image: "this is your rib, muscle tissue, fatty layer..."

"Geeze. That looks exactly like the porterhouse steak I had yesterday on the bbq"

He laughed aloud.

"that's the first time i ever heard that one before!"

"It looks like a good one. Well marbled..."

He laughed again. And then I began to laugh at the nonchalant way those things just rolled off of my tongue. Yea, that was pretty fricking funny.

They found the lump and took a biopsy. I saw the needle go in - black and white - live feed. In and out, "jiggling it a bit to get all the cells we can." It began to hurt.

"We're almost done."

And then we were.

The results. Did I really want to know?

"you can either pay to have them done here, and you get the results in 10 minutes, or you can wait to get them from the hospital in 2 weeks."

What do you think I chose?

so for 10 minutes, i tried not to stress, thinking that if it was indeed breast cancer or the beginnings of it, there was nothing I could do at that point, only move forward the best way I could. I ran the elliptical tape of spanish phrases and verbs in my head to drown out the ticking of the clock.

I walked into his office, sat down and watched him look at my dossier.

"it's normal. No cancer. You have nothing to worry about."

That is the best two words anybody can say to me. "I do" was the one that E told me a month ago, and "no cancer" today. I walked outside, relieved and tired. Had only slept 4 hours the night before. Perhaps exhaustion beyond normal fatigue is a good way to combat stress. Maybe not, but today it worked.

Mom might get her results on Friday. I want to go with her, and feel that i should, but I would like BSpgty to come along. We all support each other - I support mom, and BSpgty supports me and my mom. Mom supports BSpgty and myself.

I really really hope mom she gets those same two words.

I hope...