Epictetus and dealing with cancer

It's been a hard few days.
Mom has been swinging back and fourth between stability and objectivity to fear and dread. I know that she is going to be going through so many things in the next little while. I can't even begin to imagine how insane it must be, waiting for a diagnosis.

She said if the cancer has spread past the lymph nodes, the prognosis is 6-12 month.
that's how nasty melanoma can get.

it freaked the fuck out of me when she said that.
I would be crying my head off until I got the diagnosis, and then cry even more if that were the truth.

But she's not. She is one hell of an amazing woman. I think if anybody deserves a second chance, it should be her.

I pray every night now, send my wishes out to the universe, God, whoever is in charge of the big picture, and ask them to keep her alive and healthy.

Funny, and ironic. I never thought that this would happen to me, to my family, my mother.
I might be a prime candidate for melanoma as well. Fair skin and eyes. Just like mom.
Now every mole and pimple goes under scrutiny.



I came across this website - it's about Cognitive behavior therapy - CBT.
Apparently a philosopher named Epictetus (c. 50–138 AD) was the first to employ these methods. Here are some quotes that I had to put here. I will be refering back to them often as I have a feeling they will be keeping me grounded over the next while. I hope you enjoy them as well.

Control
Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: some things are within our control, and some things are not. It is only after you have accepted this fundamental rule, and learned to distinguish between what you can and cannot control, that inner tranquillity and outer effectiveness become possible.

Where trouble really comes from
Things themselves don’t hurt or hinder us. Neither do other people. How we view things and people is a different matter. Strange as it may seem at first, it is our own attitudes and reactions that give us the most trouble. We cannot always choose our external circumstances, but we can choose how we respond to them.

Legislating for the world
Circumstances do not arise to meet our desires or expectations. Events happen as they do. People behave according to their own inclinations and what they are faced with — which we may not even be aware of. Don’t try to make your own rules that the world is supposed to follow. That is a recipe for frustration. Exercise what influence you can, then accept what you actually get and make the most of it.


and the last is perhaps one of the most important ones, and the one that seems to apply to me the most right now...

Nothing to lose
Nothing can truly be taken from us. There is nothing to lose. Everything, including one's own life, is on loan from the world. Inner peace begins when we stop saying of things, "I have lost it," and instead say, "It has been returned to where it came from." The important thing is to take great care of what you have while the world lets you have it, just as a traveler takes care of a room at an inn.