Have I mentioned that almost every night, I dream of plane crashes and air raids? Metal birds in the sky colliding - exploding, falling
people terrified, helpless
screaming, horrified

fighter planes with their engines on fire
chasing renegade bombs before they hit the ground


I dreamt that I was looking outside my bedroom window and a huge jumbo jet engine roared by, nearly missing the house. The turbine was so close, I could almost touch it.

The smell of hot jet fuel almost melted my lungs.


what's next?
I cried over and over again.


when will this nightmare end?

Dreamt that a friend had become a crack whore - left her darling husband, 3 beautiful boys and took to the streets.

One night at a party, she was brutally beaten and died from her injuries. People stood around and watched. She screamed for help. Nobody cared. Everybody got too scared to become involved.

I heard about what had happened seconds after it began. Terrified, not looking behind me, I ran into the house.
terrified and feeling guilty
for feeling terrified

I acted surprised when the news broke that she died; but secretly wondered if my effort could have made a difference or would my body become a battered mess, brought down into the moment from the momentum of growing anger.

I was alive and she was dead.
survivor's guilt

Dreamer's despair

I try to keep awake as long as my body can endure
I don't wasn't to sleep and wake up terrified again...