Tuesday, October 02, 2007

our father, who art in heaven...

So if there is a God, why do bad things happen to good people?

(* to get the full effect - turn up the volume as loud as you can. It's a really old transfer and the sound is horrible...)



How many times have I heard that?


My aunt starts chemo tomorrow. The doctors are not sure that at her state - how aggressive the cancer has become, that it will even be worth it, but she really has nothing to lose at this point. Death is waiting to knock on her door...



This is a film I made eons ago called Pater Noster (our father in Latin) - an autobiography of sorts: my questions about God, the Catholic church, and how greed, power and the monopoly of the twisted hierarchy has turned a religion into something even God would be disappointed with.

My mom and I wrote the sermon. Pretty powerful stuff wouldn't you say? lol

It all stemmed from a question I asked her many moons ago:

Why do you only go to church when you need something and use prayer as a stepping stone to ask for it? And why do you need to go to church? If God is everywhere and in our hearts, can't you be in touch with him on your own time in your own way? do you consider yourself a part time catholic? Do you think of yourself as a hypocrite?

The rape scene was a reference to the Mt. Cashell incidents where those priests raped those poor inocent children in the name of God - because they had the power of God to scare the shit out of them...

Just thinking about it makes me sick.

So I let the film speak to you in any way it can. It's supposed to be open to interpretation. Oddly enough, I never realized how many different ways, all the hidden symbols that I employed so subconsciously came through the film. Even now, I'm still discovering things about it.

So if there is a God, why do bad things happen to good people?

4 comments:

Azathoth100 said...

Orginized religion is one of the last true evils in the world. If you 'believe' then believe in your heart, not in a church.
If there is a god, then I don't think he has much to do with the evils. He started the world and due to free will everything that happens is just the way it goes, perhaps he got the idea of keeping his hands out of it when we nailed his kid to a tree. Either way, if they bible people are right then we spend eternity in paradise, which means the evil we experiance here doesn't matter in the long run. Of course if they are wrong then we've all wasted a lot of time being good for nothing.
I hope things work our for you Mom. I'm not one who can pray, but I will keep my fingers crossed for you both.

hellophotokitty said...

Thank you Az for stopping by and such a heartfelt comment. It's nice to know that I'm not in a solitary dialogue with my keyboard.

Your energy will be passed along to my mom and aunt :-)

steve said...

I think that there are a lot of good people out there that feel that they 'need' something to hold on to. To believe that there is something after our time on this earth and maybe some who really believe in a 'God' and that there is an equal 'Evil' that others are drawn to. I cannot claim to be drawn to either, and the only thing I like about churches is the architecture, but if someone truly takes comfort in the thought of god and religion, and that person is a 'good' person then who are we to give them a hard time. Having said that, on a larger scale 'I' truly believe religion to be the root of all evil.
For any member of ones family to die is a devastating thing. To lose someone to cancer is probably top of the list. My grandfather was lost to it and my own mother had a very close life threatening medical experience recently so I have some small understanding of where you are right now. For it to be both your mother and your Aunt suffering at the same time must be tearing you apart and I genuinely feel for you even though I have never met you. I have no answer for you as there really isn't one. I believe that all we can do is make the most of what we have and the time spent with those we love be they friends or family and try not to dwell on the ugly parts of our lives. There's no-one to blame, we are all susceptible to all manner of problems be they physical or mental and they can strike at the most unfair of times.

I follow your flickr and I think that you are a very strong, intelligent and sensitive woman. It is very unfair for you to be going through this experience and even though the near future is going to be pretty devastating for you I hope that you can get through to the other side in the knowledge that as well as your existing friends and family there are those that even though they will never meet you, somehow mentally support you.

Steve f90x

hellophotokitty said...

Steve,
your post moved me so deeply. There is a lot to think about, and in this time of confusion and sadness, I guess it's only an instinctive thing to look to 'support' - the forever maternal strength, be it in drugs, alcohol or religion. Something bigger than us that can perhaps distract us or distort reality because real life and its sharp edges are too close to our raw skin.

I hear so much about making the most of the time we have, but standing where I am now, it's all I can do to move my toes that are encased in these cement blocks of grief and mania. It's been a long time since I have felt this lost, and it scares the fuck out of me. Religion is perhaps a non-toxic placebo I am hanging onto because nothing in my world right now makes sense anymore.

I thank you again for reaching out because it means so very much to me. I have tried to reach out to friends here, but so many of them have their own lives, new families, their own dramas, I understand but am saddened that time has eroded the bonds that were once so strong. But every once and a while, people such as yourself and Azathoth100 come along, and impart words of wisdom and caring, which makes the whole journey a little less bumpy and scary.

thank you again...