fat, old and ugly

e and I went out for dinner - actually had a nice evening
came back home and there was this couple in their late 40's - early 50's who were making out on a car in front of the house like two kids. She had him pinned against the passenger door, he was shorter but as stout, and they cooed like too horny pigeons.

"ah, get a room" I said out of earshot.
"they don't look like they are newlyweds, and probably not married to eachother"
I've seen infidelity - first hand with my father and his girlfriend during their early years and this was exactly what it looked like.

E replied: "if I wanted to see two fat, old and ugly people making out, i would just have to look into the mirror".

silence


I almost flipped, but was too stunned to speak

"and what in the fucken hell do you mean by that?"

pause

"I was only speaking about myself"

pause

"oh thank you so very much."

silence


???

"I was talking about myself, I put on 8 pounds in 8 weeks"
" well, I've not been to the gym in two weeks and have put on 8 pounds since then - so...?"

pause

"and old, well there's nothing we can do about that"

silence

"I didn't mean it that way"

sure you didn't...
In every sarcastic remark lies a grain of truth.

and it's bad enough that I'm having (and have had for most of my life) issues about my body, skin losing its elasticity, fine lines turning into deep crevices and over all time flying by faster than the speed of light, i now had to hear this from the man who is supposed to love me?

nice

thank you very fucken much

now I'm off to poke at the rolling layers of old skin hanging from my sagging breasts and imagine what they would look like if I sucked all this slovenly fat from my abdomen into these puppies who should be put down very soon