This is from my little cousin, the one who's mother (my aunt) died a few months ago. I emailed her a few days ago, apologizing for not emailing or calling her, explaining that I feared talking to her about her mother's cancer and death would make me think of my mom and her cancer. I was ready for either a nasty reprimand or no email at all, but instead I got this, and it melted my heart and lifted it to a sunny place in the sky. What wisdom. What insight.
I really am blessed to have people around me, in my life who can have this perspective on life and share it so freely with me.
Hey!
Dont worry about not calling. Its fine and it sounds like you have been going through ALOT. You need to get yourself better and think about the future, not what you have lost in the past. And for that matter, dont think about what you are going to loose in the future, cause you know what...we all have to go sometime. You, your mom, your dad, me....everyone. Its the shitty part of life, but there is nothing we can do.
One thing going through a death this close to me, has truly made me cherish every day, and enjoy every little shitty thing that each day may bring - cause you know what - its all an experience, good or bad. Yes I am bummed about my mom, yes it sucks she was so young, but you know what, she had a great 58 years, and she was thankful for that. In many ways, she kinda left this world on a high note, much like Seinfeld! I think about my friend Crystal who was 31, newly married with a 7 month old baby girl - now that is shitty. She had a lot of life left.
But here is my motto in regards to my mom: "we were dealt a shitty hand. and given the hand that we were dealt, it was best that she folded on her hand as soon as she did, as opposed to playing the game for longer, given the shitty hand." know what I mean? she was suffering, it was time. i miss her, but in so many ways i am glad she didn't suffer for years - no one deserves that.
I know alot of your problems and emotions are are medical etc...but truly, take it from me: life can be short, so try and make it the most positive experience that you can. Maybe look for another Dr., or try some herbal things out?
Little miss M [her 2 year old daughter] is doing really well. She is a doll, and keeps me going. I have changed so much because of her. I am sure your mom told me I am going to be a Montessori teacher! DOH! I think it will be great for me so that I can work the same time she will be in preschool. So no babysitters! I hear E's sister does the same - I would love to know what she thinks about it, and what her experiences have been.
Well...I gotta go make dinner for the troops. You take care of yourself, put a smile on and think of all the great things you have around you right now: family, friends, pets, sunny days, a great eye for photographing, and a cute little niece who would love to play again with you soon!
Ciao for now...and if you need to talk, you can call me too :)
Love,
Little mama L
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