disappear

Separation penetrates the disappearing person like a pigment and steeps him in gentle radiance

I'm very sad to be forced out of my home...

10 years of memories: days and nights lived, awake, asleep.
Tears and laughter released from my eyes, my mouth

I find myself paralyzed with fear. This unwanted separation from my comfort zone during a time in my life when what I truly needed was peace;  a desperate need to feel grounded on the foundations that I stood upon.

Through wishful and forceful thinking, my ineffective rationalization through this chaos: 

perhaps this is a shedding of old skin. A decade of physical and psychological debris that has been gathering around and inside of me, needed so desperately to be purged.

Nature and the universe shook me by the shoulders and slapped me hard.

Sloughing off, re-emerging new.

repetition does not make it more believable

repetition does not take away the pain

repetition does not

repetition does

This self portrait was taken during a period in my life when I believed my future held endless possibilities. 

And that stepping out of the present, into the unknown was a necessary rite of passage towards growth.

Separation penetrates the dissapearing person like a pigment and steeps him in genltle radiance

let the separation from the past and the present pigment of experience fill me with light, wisdom and courage to move forward into the unknown once again...

image © Kathy Slamen Photography  2010