I just had a fantastic session with my CBT therapist.
She came over to my house to sit with me during my re-examination of this Not Yet Home project; a project i have been avoiding for what seems like an eternity. We sat at my desk, at the computer, staring into the 1000 + photo abyss of images I had collected during the difficult apartment hunt last year, gauging my feelings, putting a percentage on these feelings of anxiety, fear, hope.
So many emotions inside - put it all in a blender on liquify = me right now.
i’m trying to shift perspective and re-frame, realizing that this is not as horrible as it seems, reminding myself that in the end, everything did eventually work out. Even better than I thought it would and could.
And this too, shall work out in its own way. This project will unfold, take its purposeful path and come to an end. I will look back in retrospect, find confidence in my ability to push through the uncomfortable, the uncertain, turn a negative into a positive. Begin a journey, take the unknown road, then feel satisfied that not only have I reached my final destination unscathed, but am now filled with self awareness and renewed courage.
Nobody will die.
No blood will be shed.
The world will not end.
And just like this apartment I now sit in, I will find myself a year from now, in a happier place, more comfortable in my surroundings, and able to look back on a situation that caused me an undo amount of stress, and know that i came through - completely.
Sometimes sitting with uncomfortable feelings is as important as sitting with the comfortable ones - detaching, observing, analyzing, realizing and letting go.
Just like the waves on the beach, follow the ebb and flow.
Breathing: catch and release.
A very necessary thing to do.
I just had a fantastic session with my CBT therapist.
She came over to my house to sit with me during my re-examination of this Not Yet Home project; a project i have been avoiding for what seems like an eternity. We sat at my desk, at the computer, staring into the 1000 + photo abyss of images I had collected during the difficult apartment hunt last year, gauging my feelings, putting a percentage on these feelings of anxiety, fear, hope.
So many emotions inside - put it all in a blender on liquify = me right now.
i’m trying to shift perspective and re-frame, realizing that this is not as horrible as it seems, reminding myself that in the end, everything did eventually work out. Even better than I thought it would and could.
And this too, shall work out in its own way. This project will unfold, take its purposeful path and come to an end. I will look back in retrospect, find confidence in my ability to push through the uncomfortable, the uncertain, turn a negative into a positive. Begin a journey, take the unknown road, then feel satisfied that not only have I reached my final destination unscathed, but am now filled with self awareness and renewed courage.
Nobody will die.
No blood will be shed.
The world will not end.
And just like this apartment I now sit in, I will find myself a year from now, in a happier place, more comfortable in my surroundings, and able to look back on a situation that caused me an undo amount of stress, and know that i came through - completely.
Sometimes sitting with uncomfortable feelings is as important as sitting with the comfortable ones - detaching, observing, analyzing, realizing and letting go.
Just like the waves on the beach, follow the ebb and flow.
Breathing: catch and release.
A very necessary thing to do.
No comments:
Post a Comment