Hey gang,
this is hopefully going to be a short post. I am feeling pretty crappy after a night of partying and martini swilling. Walked in at about 4:30 am this morning. Had too many expresso martinis which made me drunk as a skunk, but this morning at 9am, I was still hung over, in pain but unable to sleep! It was so brutal. Right now, I'm just kicking around till Law and Order starts.
I guess you can say that I am in a funk - low, wishy washy depression. These happen to me every once and a while after I finish a bout of intense activity. It's the low from the high, the black on the other side of the white, the down from the up. I feel this way when I finish long movies where I have worked closely with people, seen them day in day out, 10-15 hours a day, and then BOOM! Nothing. It's kind of a shock to my system. The adrenalin rush subsides and I am left with a battered and empty shell of a woman. She is pretty bruised and beaten up right now as the cuts go deeper and multiply in the script I gave birth to. I mean, the timing is also crappy because its still snowing!! STILL SNOWING!!! ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE SNOW!!! This doesn't help my frame of mind, and things being slow outside, translate into slow things on the inside. I feel like it is January all over again. It's brutal. To top it off, the new meds the teacher has me on makes me one big sleepy zombie. It's not the ideal situation for me right now - imagine throwing a picture of a life raft to a drowning man - good in principle, but the reality of it is - that aint gonna help much!! So I type, emote, read other fellow bloggers and wait for the storm to pass. I find myself out here in the middle of a monsoon with one of those little tropical drink umbrellas made of paper. The idea is there but...
But...
I wanted to bake away my sorrows, but I lost my Betty Crocker mojo when I found out that we were bone dry on the sugar situation. E is not good at keeping a running inventory of things in the house - his philosophy is: if we're out, we'll eventually buy some more. But what if the eventually is now? Now I'm screwed. I want him to stay out for a while so I can mope and get this crap out of my system. The place is nice and quiet. Just the way I like it. Depressing, but quiet. Mad TV will be on soon and so will SNL. Two reasons for me to stay home on a Saturday night. That and nobody called to ask me to do anything. Oh well.
Poo poo poop on me.
Sometimes we need days to feel crappy and down.
It's all part of the cycle.
Thanks for reading.
I will try to be more positive next post.
3 comments:
Actually for a post about your depression it was suprisingly upbeat. Hope everything works out-I felt your anguish when you talked about how painful it was to cut all those lines and scenes out of your play.
Hi Menega, funny how I didn't go off on a real depresso tangent there. I guess the anger and frustration of being in this state of mind overrode the saddness. And the script, they are still chopping away. I was left out of the final round today, which really did bite. I feel that somebody has kidnapped my script. What did you do to survive?
Gama!
I feel soo much better!! ;-) Your comment really put a smile on my face tonight!! Welcome back my dear!! xoxo
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