Sometimes when I get tired, I mean extremely tired, and i've pushed my mind and body to the point of exhaustion, I tend to slip into a little mental space that's pretty dark and isolated.
I guess it's a form of self-preservation. I had a good friend of mine explain to me that 'going into our hole in the ground' is not necessary a bad thing, it's like hybernation. We need to do what the body tells us to do. If it's wintertime, we try to conserve energy. Perhaps the mind does the same thing on some level. Problem is that I have some extra chemicals that tend to tip the scales somewhat, and pull at the heartstrings of some nasty mantras in my head. The kind of self-defeating garbage through the teachings of Buddhisim and meditation I'm trying to sort through.
But sometimes the PMS monster comes back and kills the Buddha (sometimes, it's a good thing - "when you see Buddha on your path - KIll HIM" is part of one Koan, but I won't get into that now...)and then all those nasty little mind rats run amok.
Conspiracy, paranoia, worry. The wheel begins to turn. I must pull the plug on the merry-go-round before it spins out of control and off the lot of the amusement park! Being mindful of these 'instances' is a very interesting process. As is life.
As is my life so far...
Thank you dhammza for this beautiful photo...
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