(and in my defense, for anybody reading this blog who happens to just stumble upont his post without reading the back story, you might have to do some research. These women were KNOWN in the acting circles as cut throat witches, and somebody had told me after the fact: You were warned)
My life has gone from crazy bizarre seinfeld-esque coincidences, absurd happenings, was transformed into a "sex and la Cite" success, but has taken a turn "As the World Turns"...
I'm just so outraged by all of this stupidity - that my one glory moment is being hogged by two women who are so notoriety hungry - that they are willing to stab me in the back to get it.
I know - wake up - this is reality
No wonder the ice-caps are melting in the North Pole - nobody gives a flying fuck about what they do or who they do it to!!!
But I environmentally digress.
So the shit - all of it from the top guys... a sequel to a saga spoofing the re-runs of a series... a play by - you know who...
It all starts here...
ACT 1
The glorious gleanings of this story began when I sent out my cattle call group email to everybody because my photo was on the cover of a new magazine. I was elated, and wanted to share my joy with everybody (because so many of my friends except a few) have been my tireless cheerleaders and are rooting for me, every wonderful baby step I make in realizing my dreams.
Imagine if you could, the following: -a brief email stating that my photo was on a magazine cover
- the attached scanned cover of the magazine
- thanks for support and positive vibes from all who cared.
Then imagine this:
Upon receiving many congratulatory emails on my oeuvre, I get this..
Wow, good for you girl. Awesome.
Not to rain, but I don't know if you heard that SALC will be playing at the Centaur in January. It would be nice to get together some time. Not that I have much, but maybe or an hour or two after a band practice which is near your place. I leave it up to you.
ciao bella, p
To translate:
Not to rain,(1) but I don't know if you heard(2) that SALC will be playing at the Centaur in January.(3)
1.Don't mean to take the wind out of your sails, don't mean to rain on your parade, hate to burst your bubble What do all of these phrases mean? YES, you do mean to burst my only bubble, take the wind out of my skimpy sails, and turn into a hurricane at my shiner’s parade!! DUH! Because if you didn't, you would not say anything!
2. I don't know if you heard...
I guess you might not have heard, but if you did, don't be mad at me because I didn't tell you first - or - just in case you hear it through the grapevine, I don't want you to be pissed off at me cause I waited till last minute to tell you, and am telling you now to save my ass...
3. If you look back two years ago, we were supposed to play at the Centaur. How a show that won two awards, cleaned up the city playing 5 different venues and selling out all 13 shows didn't make it to that year's wild side festival is still an X-file to me. And how it got in this year - the sequel (no comment) is as unexplained as how breathing into a paper bag can cure hiccups. (Looking for an obscure phenomena, but am at a loss for words...)
SO TO RECAP:
1) I didn't mean = I meant to be a bitch and rain on your parade
2)My sequel to the play you wrote is
3) getting the glory that the first one SHOULD have received BUT ISN'T.
4) ciao bella = see ya sucker!
My Reply:
December 1, 2006 11:16 AM
Yes P, we definitely need to talk. And in terms of the play at the centaur in January, you are not talking about the original SALC I gather, because I would assume you would have contacted me already for rehearsals. There are some details we must iron out.
Her reply:
No it is Salc part two (1) and yes we would have contacted you for rehearsals (2), we could have used for this one as well (3), but you weren't available because of your mother (4). How is she by the way?(5)
Translation:
1) its the sequel to the play - the one that we re-used most of your jokes from...
2) we could have, but consciously made a decision not to
3) ahh - the sick mother - a good excuse not to contact somebody
4) and oops, sorry for not contacting you sooner - before I rained on your parade, and by the way, to save face, I'll ask how your mother is so I won't seem like a real bitch...
Offstage
- the sound of screams and items of value and glass being smashed to smithereens.
My irate, yet perfectly honest and rightfully upset and insulted retort is as follows:
So P, what's up with this "co-writer" thing you've put on the centaur site about the original SALC? That’s news to me - since when did my 'written by" change to co-writer, and why was I not informed? I guess you're just adding more rain on my parade by posting another link via your PDF on the Wildside Festival site which says the same thing... Funny, cause the last time I checked here and here it still said "written by "...
Can you please explain that to me?
And as ready as I tried to be in braving the harlot gauntlet, I was not ready for this:
Her response.
K, as you may recall when we were doing the show, A and I approached you regarding the credits for writing(1). We believed then (2) and still do now, that it was a collaborative effort (3) Even if you did most of the main writing(4**) if you did most of the main writing. We gave you ideas, plots, scenes, helped you put the scenes in order, even wrote specific dialogue in scenes (5), and then I was the main editor (5), working with you and/or A to get the script from 70 pages down to 30,(6) which also involved some rewrites for dialogue and voiceovers.
However, at the time, because of your reactions when we approached you (7), we felt that for the good of the show(8), we would give you the full credit.(9)
Unfortunately, I don't think we will be able to see eye to eye on this (10) and I am sorry that this is upsetting you (11). But we feel we are giving credit where credit is due. (12)
P & A
translation:
1) even though you wrote it, you didn't really write it...
2) we knew from the beginning, and not telling you from the beginning
3) see later definition/duties of Director, and producer
4) A blatant admission to the fact that I did do most of the writing
5) it's your story - you give a writer ideas to write ! That's how working with a screenwriter/playwright works!!!
6) Slice and dice cold detached chop and toss - you didn't write it, so why should you care!?
7) reference to their asking for "co-editing credit" and my reaction - then see definitions of director and producer...
8) didn't want everybody to hate us because they knew that you were in the right and we were in the wrong (and oh, of course, our self-interest above all)
9) And we did it through clenched teeth - you whiny miserable playwright bitch.
10) face it woman, it's us against you
11) we don't really give a flying fuck if this is upsetting you, but we will do it anyway...
12) We want to have it all - be the director, producer and main actors
AND, oh yea, WRITERS AS WELL!!
INTERMISSION
ACT 3
I figured it's about time that these girls get a lesson in the real world of show business
P,
Have you ever read the real definitions of what a real director's duties are? The way you and your partner are acting, I would guess not... For your information, these are taken from the Internet Movie Databasehttp://imdb.com/Glossary/ and more information can be found here...
http://www.artsalive.ca/en/eth/playwright
http://www.artsalive.ca/en/eth/director/
Before pulling rank on me, I think you should inform yourself as to who does what. I guess in your world, protocol does not apply. And by the way - we had agreed that the final script we entered into the fringe was "written by " and then included "edited by me, you and her" on your request. Sorry my dear, I don't remember seeing you writing 18 hours a day, all day, every day for a month. And besides, if it weren't for my script, and my idea that the girls come to Montréal, you would not be where you are right now - there would have not been a smash success, or a sequel for that matter. And fact remains fact - you can't do much without a great script or the foundation of it. You should familiarize yourself with these definitions before you go around saying you wrote or 'co-wrote' the play. Don't you think there is a reason why "director" and "producer' are always the first in the credits? And why don't I see you taking your name into "costume design co designed by", ""co- choreographed by". Try running that one by la danseuse. I'm sure she'd be thrilled....
I don't see why not - If you did it for the writer, well hell, you should do it for everything else you had your hands in. According to your kind of logic, this should make sense...
Director: The principal creative artist on a movie set.
A director is usually (but not always) the driving artistic source behind the filming process, and communicates to actors the way that he/she would like a particular scene played. A director's duties might also include casting, script editing, shot selection, shot composition, and editing. Typically, a director has complete artistic control over all aspects of the movie, but it is not uncommon for the director to be bound by agreements with either a producer or a studio. In some large productions, a director will delegate less important scenes to a second unit.
Producer: The chief of staff of a movie production in all matters save the creative efforts of the director, who is head of the line. A producer is responsible for raising funding, hiring key personnel, and arranging for distributors. See also associate producer, co-producer, executive producer, line producer, Producer's Guild of America. Writer:A general term for someone who creates a written work, be it a novel, script, screenplay, or teleplay. See also Writers Guild of America.
Playwrights create scripts. Like other literary artists, playwrights tell stories through the words and actions of characters. While the work of the playwright can stand on its own as literature, its potential is fully realized only when the skills of all the other theatre artists combine to transform the script into a production of a play. While most playwrights, like most writers, work alone, sometimes they share the task of script creation with actors and directors in a process known as collective creation. Here everyone takes a hand in researching the story idea and developing the script. But because the skillful ordering and re-creation of events is central to the playwright’s art, the final task of shaping the raw material into a coherent and effective play/script will normally fall to the playwright.
So those are industry standards.
I'm sure I can find other real professionals in the business that would be more than happy to back up these facts, and my rightful credit on the script.
I figured that this pretty much states shit in black and white - but I forgot - reason and logic go out the window in their "me" centered universe...
K, thank you for the information, and this is taken from it" But because the skillful ordering (I was up with you till 5 in the morning doing this) and re-creation of events is central to the playwright’s art, the final task of shaping the raw material into a coherent and effective play/script will normally fall to the playwright."
I played a huge hand in the skillful ordering , and the final task of shaping the raw material was done by all 3 of us. Also, before we met you A and I discussed several different scenarios about doing a play on SALC and one of HER ideas was to have the girls come to Montreal, I felt differently, we therefore decided to find someone to come in and write for us. You had the same idea as A, which suited her just fine. I conceded. K, good luck in your future endeavors.
This is all that I will communicate on this matter. P
What does all of this mean - in not so veiled terms?
A big FUCK YOU is what she means.
ASIDE
Sure, I was a little bit emotional in my response, (I’m not blaming PMS) and I was perhaps too emotionally attached to the play, but at the same time, SALC was my final hope and prayer to a springboard to my career. I wasn't asking for much. Just a fucken writing credit - is that so much to ask? Must you NEED that much attention and soak up all that fame like pork fat on a slice of rye bread!?
I guess so.
And it's a sad day in TV sequel land because with my writing smarts, their acting experience, and our fantastic comedic timing and chemistry, we could have created our own next "Sex and the City".
I'm just so outraged by all of this stupidity - that my one glory moment is being hogged by two women who are so notoriety hungry - that they are willing to stab me in the back to get it.
I know - wake up - this is reality
No wonder the ice-caps are melting in the North Pole - nobody gives a flying fuck about what they do or who they do it to!!!
But I environmentally digress.
So the shit - all of it from the top guys... a sequel to a saga spoofing the re-runs of a series... a play by - you know who...
It all starts here...
ACT 1
The glorious gleanings of this story began when I sent out my cattle call group email to everybody because my photo was on the cover of a new magazine. I was elated, and wanted to share my joy with everybody (because so many of my friends except a few) have been my tireless cheerleaders and are rooting for me, every wonderful baby step I make in realizing my dreams.
Imagine if you could, the following: -
- the attached scanned cover of the magazine
- thanks for support and positive vibes from all who cared.
Then imagine this:
Upon receiving many congratulatory emails on my oeuvre, I get this..
Wow, good for you girl. Awesome.
Not to rain, but I don't know if you heard that SALC will be playing at the Centaur in January. It would be nice to get together some time. Not that I have much, but maybe or an hour or two after a band practice which is near your place. I leave it up to you.
ciao bella, p
To translate:
Not to rain,(1) but I don't know if you heard(2) that SALC will be playing at the Centaur in January.(3)
1.Don't mean to take the wind out of your sails, don't mean to rain on your parade, hate to burst your bubble What do all of these phrases mean? YES, you do mean to burst my only bubble, take the wind out of my skimpy sails, and turn into a hurricane at my shiner’s parade!! DUH! Because if you didn't, you would not say anything!
2. I don't know if you heard...
I guess you might not have heard, but if you did, don't be mad at me because I didn't tell you first - or - just in case you hear it through the grapevine, I don't want you to be pissed off at me cause I waited till last minute to tell you, and am telling you now to save my ass...
3. If you look back two years ago, we were supposed to play at the Centaur. How a show that won two awards, cleaned up the city playing 5 different venues and selling out all 13 shows didn't make it to that year's wild side festival is still an X-file to me. And how it got in this year - the sequel (no comment) is as unexplained as how breathing into a paper bag can cure hiccups. (Looking for an obscure phenomena, but am at a loss for words...)
SO TO RECAP:
1) I didn't mean = I meant to be a bitch and rain on your parade
2)My sequel to the play you wrote is
3) getting the glory that the first one SHOULD have received BUT ISN'T.
4) ciao bella = see ya sucker!
ACT 2
My Reply:
December 1, 2006 11:16 AM
Yes P, we definitely need to talk. And in terms of the play at the centaur in January, you are not talking about the original SALC I gather, because I would assume you would have contacted me already for rehearsals. There are some details we must iron out.
Her reply:
No it is Salc part two (1) and yes we would have contacted you for rehearsals (2), we could have used for this one as well (3), but you weren't available because of your mother (4). How is she by the way?(5)
Translation:
1) its the sequel to the play - the one that we re-used most of your jokes from...
2) we could have, but consciously made a decision not to
3) ahh - the sick mother - a good excuse not to contact somebody
4) and oops, sorry for not contacting you sooner - before I rained on your parade, and by the way, to save face, I'll ask how your mother is so I won't seem like a real bitch...
Offstage
- the sound of screams and items of value and glass being smashed to smithereens.
My irate, yet perfectly honest and rightfully upset and insulted retort is as follows:
So P, what's up with this "co-writer" thing you've put on the centaur site about the original SALC? That’s news to me - since when did my 'written by" change to co-writer, and why was I not informed? I guess you're just adding more rain on my parade by posting another link via your PDF on the Wildside Festival site which says the same thing... Funny, cause the last time I checked here and here it still said "written by "...
Can you please explain that to me?
And as ready as I tried to be in braving the harlot gauntlet, I was not ready for this:
Her response.
K, as you may recall when we were doing the show, A and I approached you regarding the credits for writing(1). We believed then (2) and still do now, that it was a collaborative effort (3) Even if you did most of the main writing(4**) if you did most of the main writing. We gave you ideas, plots, scenes, helped you put the scenes in order, even wrote specific dialogue in scenes (5), and then I was the main editor (5), working with you and/or A to get the script from 70 pages down to 30,(6) which also involved some rewrites for dialogue and voiceovers.
However, at the time, because of your reactions when we approached you (7), we felt that for the good of the show(8), we would give you the full credit.(9)
Unfortunately, I don't think we will be able to see eye to eye on this (10) and I am sorry that this is upsetting you (11). But we feel we are giving credit where credit is due. (12)
P & A
translation:
1) even though you wrote it, you didn't really write it...
2) we knew from the beginning, and not telling you from the beginning
3) see later definition/duties of Director, and producer
4) A blatant admission to the fact that I did do most of the writing
5) it's your story - you give a writer ideas to write ! That's how working with a screenwriter/playwright works!!!
6) Slice and dice cold detached chop and toss - you didn't write it, so why should you care!?
7) reference to their asking for "co-editing credit" and my reaction - then see definitions of director and producer...
8) didn't want everybody to hate us because they knew that you were in the right and we were in the wrong (and oh, of course, our self-interest above all)
9) And we did it through clenched teeth - you whiny miserable playwright bitch.
10) face it woman, it's us against you
11) we don't really give a flying fuck if this is upsetting you, but we will do it anyway...
12) We want to have it all - be the director, producer and main actors
AND, oh yea, WRITERS AS WELL!!
INTERMISSION
ACT 3
I figured it's about time that these girls get a lesson in the real world of show business
P,
Have you ever read the real definitions of what a real director's duties are? The way you and your partner are acting, I would guess not... For your information, these are taken from the Internet Movie Databasehttp://imdb.com/Glossary/ and more information can be found here...
http://www.artsalive.ca/en/eth/playwright
http://www.artsalive.ca/en/eth/director/
Before pulling rank on me, I think you should inform yourself as to who does what. I guess in your world, protocol does not apply. And by the way - we had agreed that the final script we entered into the fringe was "written by " and then included "edited by me, you and her" on your request. Sorry my dear, I don't remember seeing you writing 18 hours a day, all day, every day for a month. And besides, if it weren't for my script, and my idea that the girls come to Montréal, you would not be where you are right now - there would have not been a smash success, or a sequel for that matter. And fact remains fact - you can't do much without a great script or the foundation of it. You should familiarize yourself with these definitions before you go around saying you wrote or 'co-wrote' the play. Don't you think there is a reason why "director" and "producer' are always the first in the credits? And why don't I see you taking your name into "costume design co designed by", ""co- choreographed by". Try running that one by la danseuse. I'm sure she'd be thrilled....
I don't see why not - If you did it for the writer, well hell, you should do it for everything else you had your hands in. According to your kind of logic, this should make sense...
Director: The principal creative artist on a movie set.
A director is usually (but not always) the driving artistic source behind the filming process, and communicates to actors the way that he/she would like a particular scene played. A director's duties might also include casting, script editing, shot selection, shot composition, and editing. Typically, a director has complete artistic control over all aspects of the movie, but it is not uncommon for the director to be bound by agreements with either a producer or a studio. In some large productions, a director will delegate less important scenes to a second unit.
Producer: The chief of staff of a movie production in all matters save the creative efforts of the director, who is head of the line. A producer is responsible for raising funding, hiring key personnel, and arranging for distributors. See also associate producer, co-producer, executive producer, line producer, Producer's Guild of America. Writer:A general term for someone who creates a written work, be it a novel, script, screenplay, or teleplay. See also Writers Guild of America.
Playwrights create scripts. Like other literary artists, playwrights tell stories through the words and actions of characters. While the work of the playwright can stand on its own as literature, its potential is fully realized only when the skills of all the other theatre artists combine to transform the script into a production of a play. While most playwrights, like most writers, work alone, sometimes they share the task of script creation with actors and directors in a process known as collective creation. Here everyone takes a hand in researching the story idea and developing the script. But because the skillful ordering and re-creation of events is central to the playwright’s art, the final task of shaping the raw material into a coherent and effective play/script will normally fall to the playwright.
So those are industry standards.
I'm sure I can find other real professionals in the business that would be more than happy to back up these facts, and my rightful credit on the script.
I figured that this pretty much states shit in black and white - but I forgot - reason and logic go out the window in their "me" centered universe...
K, thank you for the information, and this is taken from it" But because the skillful ordering (I was up with you till 5 in the morning doing this) and re-creation of events is central to the playwright’s art, the final task of shaping the raw material into a coherent and effective play/script will normally fall to the playwright."
I played a huge hand in the skillful ordering , and the final task of shaping the raw material was done by all 3 of us. Also, before we met you A and I discussed several different scenarios about doing a play on SALC and one of HER ideas was to have the girls come to Montreal, I felt differently, we therefore decided to find someone to come in and write for us. You had the same idea as A, which suited her just fine. I conceded. K, good luck in your future endeavors.
This is all that I will communicate on this matter. P
What does all of this mean - in not so veiled terms?
A big FUCK YOU is what she means.
ASIDE
Sure, I was a little bit emotional in my response, (I’m not blaming PMS) and I was perhaps too emotionally attached to the play, but at the same time, SALC was my final hope and prayer to a springboard to my career. I wasn't asking for much. Just a fucken writing credit - is that so much to ask? Must you NEED that much attention and soak up all that fame like pork fat on a slice of rye bread!?
I guess so.
And it's a sad day in TV sequel land because with my writing smarts, their acting experience, and our fantastic comedic timing and chemistry, we could have created our own next "Sex and the City".
The end (or is it?)
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