Sally Field and I gush together about being liked and great dancers.

'I can't deny the fact that you like me! You like me! You really like me!'

Good Olde Sally Field - gushing after she received an academy award for her role in Norma Rae. Well, I felt like Sally Field last night. At 6am I stumbled into bed with a gigantic ear to ear smile on my face.

Well, its taken me most of the afternoon and evening to recover, optimistic the start of my week won’t be shot to hell becasue I have once again talen on too much to do - got the film two nights this week, one dance class and a photo shoot for the other two days, and then a meeting with the producer (and a partridge in a pear tree). Sleep? That’s a luxury option along with the bathing and power windows…

Funny how the parties that you think are going to be the worst usually end up being some of the best? Went to a friend’s new house in the more seedy side of town (the downstairs restaurant has topless waitresses of various ages serving breakfast and skin for under $3.00!) but she had renovated to the nines – it looked spectacular. Very welcoming. It set the whole mood for the night – eclectic and laid back with a dash of humor.

The toons were spun by E and others, people danced in the huge space usually called a dining room/living room. Beer flowed freely from the industrial Coleman cooler next to the (already stuffed with more beer and wine) fridge. The sweet smell of fresh microwaved popcorn and pot filled the main floor. I designated myself as the munchie police, making sure that there was enough chips and salsa on the buffet table, not to mention sampling a whole lot and hoarding the chip dip to myself most of the night. Saw a handful of friends that I had not been in touch with for a while, met some new ones and danced like a fiend.

I truly believe that some people are just born with rhythm in their blood – I don’t mean to sound like I am boasting, but my blood really rushes through my veins in a tribal tempo when music comes on. Fast, slow, in-between, you name it, I can dance it. Dancing is such an amazing form of release for me, and at the same time it is a harnessing of such wonderful energy. After months of not having gone out to shake my booty, I shook it and almost lost it, enjoying every single minute!

One evening in a 'Hip Hop' club, a stranger approached me in a club and made a comment about my dancing prowess. A tall African American/Canadian (please excuse my political incorrectness here…) came up to me, took me gently by the arm and spoke (well, actually shouted) into my ear: “Wow! I have to tell you I’ve never seen a white woman dance so much like a sistah in my life. You must have some black blood in you girl!”
I took that as a huge compliment! I thanked him and he led me back to the dance floor where we bumped and grinded for the next ½ hour. Nothing comes close to a night of real good music, great company and dancing, well, there are some things...

Last night I received simmilar compliments. Upon hearing them, I became quite bashful and body conscious. You see, I am kind of shy (on paper and in a blog - that’s a different story) and blush easily and become tongue tied when I receive compliments, which is what happened at the party. Perhaps it was because I had more than a few glasses of wine, too much popcorn and dip but I was not conscious of my body radiating some sort of magnetic energy which people seemed so drawn to. Conversations flowed easily, I was able to make people laugh and smile, it all seemed so effortless. Granted, most of the people there were either drunk, stoned or both, but I lost count how many times I heard “What an amazing dancer, I wish I could do what you do’ or ‘She is so great!” followed by “I know – she’s just soo cool!” or “I love this girl! She is amazing!” A good friend of mine once told me, while observing me in a social/party setting that:
“People are drawn to you because you radiate such a glow, an inviting energy. You create the kind of buoyant and youthful microcosm that people want to be a part of. When you are happy and in your element, you are a flower in bloom. Your loving nature and laughter becomes nothing short of contagious to those nearby.”
(I can feel my cheeks blush now as I type this)

When I got home, my face was etched with a perma-grin. I really felt special and loved by my friends. That was exactly the kind of high and affirmation I needed. The past year had been so incredibly hard in ever sense of the word, which in turn made thinking about 2005 a daunting and fearful endeavor. But now, 17 days into it, my faith is renewed and feel that I can and will do some great things in the next 12 months. Nothing means more to me than reaching out and touching the lives of other in a positive way; to know and have people tell you that you are appreciated for what you are doing, is in itself is a wonderful blessing.

Closing again with Sally casue this just seemed so appropriate:
It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.

I'm here world, so watch out!