This takes the cake, the baker, and the whole bakery!!!!

This is just too outrageous.
I am in a semi state of shock.
I thought I had weird coincidences happen to me before, but the series of events that have just transpired tonight have really put the word 'coincidence' spinning in my head. I am so dizzy now I think I am gonna hurl...

In 10000 words or less (and also because I am going on 3 hours of sleep today, and it's presently 2:27 am and it will probably be about 4 am when I finish typing this ...

Holy crap.
This is just one for the books.
I am still flipping.
I think that I am actually going to have to get a beer and sit down and try to sort this all through. This is serious mind bending time warping brain stretching stuff.

Where do I begin?
From the beginning.

Okay. Let's try this in point form shall we? If it doesn't not make sense, at least it will look organized....

- went to bed at an ungodly hour last night again. This is now becoming standard practice as I now find sleep deprivation a new and exciting sport. Safer than bungee jumping, but with less of a neck strain than pole vaulting. Blogged my head off (quite literally). Verbal diarrhea - I think it might be terminal.
- ideas spilled out of my head like dead bees on a cake (that is a CD title from one of my favorite artists - David Sylvian (formerly the front man of a band called Japan). I have no clue what the hell it means, but the imagery evokes a strange mirage before my eyes which seems to fit how I envisioned what ideas spilling out of my head, high on caffeine at 4am in the morning looked like.
- I started to think about crazy ideas for my 'sex without a city' play. Charlotte gets tourettes and swears exclusively in French. A real street slang French at that. It made me laugh so hard that I began to cry, weep actually. When you are running on battery acid, emotions all become the same. (I didn't weep. I just added that in for dramatic effect. Did it work? Were you convinced??)
- I got into bed only to spring out of bed 4 hours later. I hooked up my IV caffeine bag to my belt and went back to work on my computer. I puttered around, did a good job avoiding the play and responded to all my blog replies and left my 2 cents worth on other blogs that I found entertaining.
- I took a moment to jump for joy.
- I sat back at the computer again and tried to write.
- bla bla bla bla
- bla bla bla NINJA!!! bla bla bla
- I ate some powdered Slim Fast for lunch and kept on typing, saying to myself 'I'll go outside to get some fresh air." It's almost 3am now and I am still saying the same thing. Obviously, I should abort this attempt.
- I emailed a friend who I thought forgot about me. Dejected and wounded to the core (I exaggerate - ACTING!!!). I pretty much put a cap on that email address and sent it to the cyber funeral pyre, until I check my alternate email account, and through some strange error of Microsoft, he got on my contact list and an automatic email was sent to him. I got a message dated last week: do I know you?
I almost fell off my chair (I seem to do alot of that lately - for dramatic effect - acting!!) to see that he had responded to this other email. I wondered what the hell was going on as I had not heard from him since before Xmas. I wrote back:
Oh honey - you know me - use your imagination!!
snickering to myself, I sent it off ftom this other account. I proceeded to blog that in a draft blog I keep (all about coincidences and large animals that yell out 'Hootchie Momma' in the night), and then, just as I was putting the final spell check on the document, I heard the little bell of my 'you have mail' mail sound. I opened up my yahoo account and there it was. An email from him. Quite literally seconds after I added the last period to the sentence. He had been busy with work and apologized for not emailing sooner. After already having fallen off, gotten back on and fallen off my chair several more times, I did a grand pliée followed by a pirouette and began to sing "Don't Cry for Me Argentina". Strange coincidence #1

- I was about to write some more, but seeing as I had spent most of the day freaking out over these strange coincidences and procrastinating to such an extent, I forgot I had put the washing machine on and was running the load without any clothes, basically water washing water, I realized that I needed a break. I ate some weird Cajun stuff that came in a box with a flavor packet and sat in front of the tube. I called a friend of mine (refer to the "Reunion - 20 years later' blog for reference), my 'sister' and we blabbed for more than three hours. I think part of my cordless phone receiver melted and is now embedded into my earlobe. Later on in the evening, after watching back to back Sex In The City Episodes for my homework, I hopped on the net to get some info about the show. I checked some emails that had been sitting in my in - box forever and replied to a few of them. One in particular struck me - I must email this friend - they have been on my mind. I heeded the voice which spoke in spooky italics and typed out a quick and friendly electronic hello. As I was about to press 'send', I popped onto msn. He is usually 'away' when he is really there (kind of like call answer for computers) but I took a chance anyway. Low and behold - he came on, exhausted, and half asleep. I guess it was the 'you have mail/someone is online waiting to talk to you so get up you lazy bum' sound that woke him. He typed incoherently but the sentiment was there. I was moved, but not to tears, but enough to forgive him for his horrible spelling mistakes.
Why don't you ...
And as he typed this, I typed:
I was just going to ...
And then, for one moment, the world stopped in mid spin as the words simultaneously flashed on the screen: EMAIL (ME) (YOU).

Without warning, my chair broke and my computer began to whiz about the room (sorry, just testing the dramatic visual effect thing one more time). I was stunned, and there I sat, in my broken chair, in stunned silence.
What a weird coincidence!! LOL!! was all I wrote... Strange coincidence #2

Now this is the killer...
After all the hoopla had died down, I was making my way to shut off my computer and Photoshop files that I had been fiddling with (still procrastinating with the writing) and checked my emails one last time. I got an email from a fellow blogger Ken -( http://kenisaverb.blogspot.com/) . He had left a few comments on my blog and I was going to hassle him because I just wanted to. The second to last entry was titled: "I don't believe in probability". Keep this in mind - it will make more sense at (and maybe you will fall off your chair when you come to) the end of this rant. The last entry of the day was titled: Nine Year Old On Speed . It was absolutely hysterical, and when Ken says something is funny, it's really funny. I clicked on the link and there my friends, is where I ended up in another dimension...


Strange coincidence #3
http://caloovy.blogspot.com/
I clicked on the link and read the first entry. I was quite literally folded in half, doubled over from laughing so hard, and almost made it into 3/4s fold but my arms could not bend backwards. Being the chatty hellokitty I am, I decided to leave my 2cents worth (which would be .12243556 cents American) and post a funny comment. I won't bother to be redundant. You can read the absolutely hysterical brilliant spur- of- the - moment, stream-of- consciousness comment at your leisure (and I hope that you will, it was a classic...). And on the spur of the moment, I added his msn address to my list of contacts because he definitely was someone twisted enough that I wanted to meet.

BUT HERE COMES THE CREEPY PART!!! (creepy organ music please!!)

And at the exact moment, as I was finishing up typing a little attached message/greeting which msn automatically asks you if you would like to send to your new 'cyber-pal', he logs on.
I am not shitting you.
There he was.
"Caloovy has just signed in'
Elvis had just entered the building, pigs began to fly and hell turned into an Olympic sized skating rink.

So for more than an hour after, we were both flipping on how strange and utterly bizarre this coincidence was. I laughed so hard - mostly because he was just a really funny guy, but also becasue my brain was trying to process this unbelievable amount of coincidental information which seemed to me, that I had indirectly willed to happen!! One coincidence is interesting, when it happens twice, it's cool, but three times in a span of less than 8 hours was enough to scare all the bodily fluids completely out of my system.

As I had calculated, it's 3:35am and I am flipping out and wondering if I think hard enough and stay awake long enough and tap into the secrets of the universe, I might just be able to:
a) land a sketch-comedy deal with Comedy Central (the same people that bring you MAD TV) for my crazy show ideas
b) able to will, with my mind, all the lottery balls to roll into the sequence that I have picked to win the 10 million dollar jackpot up for grabs tonight.
c) and to finally be able to seamlessly and effortlessly enter into the career of my passion without having to finance my kidneys to pay off the debts I will incur during the start up phases of my business...

Sometimes, life is more than just stranger than fiction, its just downright WEIRD.
And thank you Ken for your discourse on 'probability'.

Do you believe in it now????
;-)