Stress-o-matic or 'How to develop an ulcer in 7 days or less'.

Gang,
I am stressing.
I got the word from Charlotte last night that they need the script by next Tuesday.
Less than a week.
I had to put the phone down while I was talking to her because my head popped off and had to fetch it up across the street.

"Its not like we are trying to pressure you..."
Oh no pressure. Really.
You know, the average screenplay/script/play can take up to a year to be written. If you're lucky, 4 months for a shitty one.
No pressure. No panic.

God. Time to panic.

So even thought I say that I work well under pressure and manage to shine through what I think is a hopeless situation, this is a little different: there is a director who is waiting to see if he 'likes' the script enough to take it on, (I was going to throw my hat in the ring, but cinema and theater are really two different animals - ladybug and buffalo. Discuss.) and then there all the actors that are waiting to rehearse. The thing is that this play is no small endeavor. 60 minutes of what I hope to be witty repartee is alot to think of - especially when you are including 8 plus characters in the mix (I think I'm up to 14 scenes over the 3 day period in the show...). I am stressing. I will have no life until next Tuesday. I might take the odd occasional nanosecond to visit some of you guys/gals, leave some incoherent jibber-jabber on your sites and then return to my Word doc. from hell to plug away until my fingers bleed.

Eeegad. What am I doing!?!?!?!?
Shit.
Merde. (Another new french swear word for today. merde = shit)


I had to add this in because it was so funny and it kinda reflects my state of mind right now. All you lucid dreamers out there might get a kick out of this...

I was near a beach (that Cuba pic with the thatched straw hut/umbrella) and looking at the beautiful water. I entered my room and then went to the bathroom. I opened the window and it seemed like the ocean was right below the window. I shouted to someone 'look - that is my view from my bathroom window!" I was elated. Have no clue why. Was just weird.

The next thing I know, I am running on the beach, across the beach into this building that looked like a loading depot. I took the stairwell and did one of those 1000 steps stairwell things - going up, running down. I guess I have been watching too many cop shows. I ran into these two Seattle grunge type guys (one fat/one skinny) who were looking for the same elusive place that I was. We teamed up. Every door we opened on each floor was the wrong one. We finally got to the right floor. It was the main area of a church - one of those big Cathedral types where there is enough wood in there to make the rainforest or the whole of British Columbian mountan range feel naked. We walked in and there were seniors everywhere. Wall to wall seniors. White caps on a wave of walkers and canes. At one point, some music started (I think it was my clock radio) and these people were looking for someone to sing the lead. I saw this one woman in a wheelchair who was grooving to the music. I walked on over to her and low and behold, she was one of the sisters from the band called Heart. I looked at her and whispered:
You have to do it for the music. You have to do it for the fans. Don't be scared. You can do it.
And the next thing I know, she grabs some wireless mic from out of the blue and began to belt out the song 'barracuda' !! OOOOOOHHH barra barra cooooodaaaaahhh. It's quite the highly charged song so to see it coming out of the wrinkled mouth of an 80 year old woman was a shock. She just opened her mouth and sang - full back up , bass and drums, just like the original recording. So Seattle dudes and I began to get everybody moving and shaking their weak limbs. When that was taking off, we walked to the back of the church, met up with some other 20 somethings and drank beer, played pool (I never knew they had pool tables in the back of the church!) and just had a great time!

But to see that old woman sing. That just floored me.
Imagine...
Welcome to my wonderful world!!!
AHHHHHHHHHH!

Thanks to Calvooly for this delightful diverson.
I visit it.
Often.
It's my escape when I am Carrie Bradsaw'd out.