This was an email from a lovely flickr friend who saw my post and was concerned about my health. Thank you Ruud so very very much...
Have you tried Chinese medicine? I'm not saying that its going to solve it, but I see a pattern of pathology according to Chinese medicine. So its interesting to check out.
On the emotional field the liver liver pathology deals a lot with Anger (which is healthy) depression, frustration.
The liver houses the 'hun' (ethereal spirit) which deals with going forward, expression, having goals, creativity. which are the opposite of depression which is basically a deep rooted feeling of not going forward but being stuck.
Interestingly the liver controls the 'eyes'.
Western medicine is based on suppressing your problems but not getting rid of them at the root. Emotions have to be vented otherwise it will emerge on an other level.
This 'hun' of the liver also helps the 'Shèn' (spirit, mind) of the heart to get rooted. If it doesn't do that the mind starts floating...insomnia, manic behavior,.... and also spots in the eye.
Anyway you get the picture. I can't imagine there isn't a good Chinese medicine guy where you live. If you can find one that has more experience in spirit disorders would be even better but not necessary.
If you treat the body you treat the spirit.
Maybe this can shed a better light on you pathology. Its worth a try, right?
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